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Post by Dorian F. Blund on Sept 11, 2020 11:50:18 GMT
Dorian woke up with the familiar headache and slight nausea he associated with being moved around again, but serene nonetheless: his senses told him he was on a bed, with a warm body next to him. Which meant he was in a room, safe. A game was probably occurring this very moment, but he would not be taking part in it, and for now, Dorian considered himself blessed. It did not escape him, as he slowly moved his limbs and blinked the drowsiness away, that if he wasn’t in one, then other people were; very possibly, those he cared about. There was nothing to celebrate, and his thoughts went to Ethan; may he stay safe wherever he was, and make it ‘till they could see each other again. Geoff, too, was a man who seemed to have been through a lot, and after their talk, Dorian hoped he would not be put through worse; though he knew, was he to choose the person he wanted to suffer the least, he would not be the winner. He had empathy for him nonetheless.
His eyes finally settled on his surroundings, and he immediately recognized this as one of the better rooms, meaning he would be getting proper food again. Good, he needed to keep himself fed if he didn’t want to grow too weak. He’d already lost a lot of muscle mass through the months, he was much too aware. The bathroom door was open, and from here he could tell it was in good condition. He always took a long shower the night he suspected he would be gassed in case his next habitations wouldn’t allow him proper hygiene, but this was most pleasing to see.
Finally feeling himself growing more and more conscious as the drugs fully wore off, he finally turned to the side to get a proper look at his roommate… the air immediately catching in his throat as he recognized her, now more awake than ever. “Katherine!”At once, he was on his feet, internally afraid he might just crush her in such a small bed, and looked down at her. Seeing her sleeping like this made him feel… uneasy, the vision of Cece still vivid in his mind; but he’d felt her warmth against his back, and her chest was moving up and down with her breaths.
She was alive and well, thank god.
Before he could stop himself and rethink his action, he lowered a hand on her shoulder, and shook her lightly.
“Kath dear, are you alright?”
Please be.
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Post by Katherine Sallow on Sept 11, 2020 13:57:55 GMT
"I don't like it! Stop it. Make it stop!" Katherine was in a dark room where the silence was deafening. She didn't like it, not one bit. "Hello? Is there anyone out there? Hello!" Nothing responded for a while and all Katherine could do was hug her knees."You may be his little fireball but in the end nobody cares about you." Katherine looked around to see where the voice...or voices came from but to no avail. "You think they care but they don't not even your own..." “Kath dear, are you alright?”
Katherine slowly came too, feeling someone shake her and Katherine went to take the hand off her shoulder expect when she went to go uncurl the fingers...there was none. She quickly sat up, closing her eyes quickly as the gas was still in her system. When she felt the world had stopped spinning she opened her eyes once more and there he was. There was Dorian. All she could do was look at him. "I think I'm alright..." She couldn't say much but Katherine was confused, Dorian didn't have any fingers and she put two and two together thinking he was put into horrid game and lost his fingers but how long ago was that? So many questions that probably Dorian didn't even want to answer too. Katherine looked around the room, noticing it's red theme and all she could do was sigh. The red really did follow her everywhere. Turning her attention back to Dorian she smiled, pretending everything was alright and asked "Are you ok Dorian?"
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Post by Dorian F. Blund on Sept 11, 2020 14:32:15 GMT
It was only when her fingers searched for his that Dorian realized he’d made a mistake. The moment their hands met, the woman sat up straight as if she’d just been slapped awake, taking a few seconds to resituate herself while he stood stiffly, unsure what to say. She hadn’t screamed, at least.
At last she opened her eyes again and looked at him, still drowsy; the first day after the drug was never easy. She answered his question, but her gaze was set on his hands. Dorian immediately felt self-conscious. With Ethan he’d just been worried of grossing him out, and this was also the case, not wanting to scar the poor woman; yet… he felt nervous. Her opinion of him seemed to matter more to him than he thought because he suddenly felt the urge to disappear away from her shocked sight.
"Are you ok, Dorian?" She asked at last. Now, THAT was a loaded question. “I’m fine.” He responded quickly, wanting nothing else but to ease her worry. As casually as possible, he slipped his hands in his pockets, hoping it would seem natural. “Nothing’s happened to me since the dining room, thank God… what about you? I remember you drinking a lot of whiskey at once… I hope it didn’t affect you too much.”
With that said, Dorian stood, unsure, for a few seconds. Things were always a bit… out of place with Katherine until they once again found their footing, but… now he felt genuinely awkward, and he knew it was no fault of her own. He just wished he knew what to say.
“… I’m glad to see you.”
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Post by Katherine Sallow on Sept 11, 2020 15:03:45 GMT
“I’m fine.” Katherine smiled only to notice how he was slipping his hands into his pockets but decided not to draw attention to what he was doing, All she did was look around the room once more before Dorian spoke again “Nothing’s happened to me since the dining room, thank God… what about you? I remember you drinking a lot of whiskey at once… I hope it didn’t affect you too much.” Katherine tried not to pull a face of pure embarrassment so she quickly laughed, albeit a very nervous laugh before covering her mouth and nodded her head. Trying to calm herself she said " Sadly it did make me tipsy so poor Silvio had to deal with tipsy Katherine but I was able to give the information on what happened in that event so yeah and luckily Hannah who I was talking through the wall with had tipsy Katherine for like...I want to say 10 minutes before I started sobering up." Katherine then slowly got up, again taking a moment to regain her balance "So lucky for you, you won't ever experienced a drunk Katherine and never again will I down whiskey or even touch the stuff..." She bit her lip before looking down at her feet. Why did things have to be so awkward?
Her attention drew back to Dorian's hands that were in his pockets and walked up to him. Looking into his eyes, she gave him a smile "You know..." She started "You don't have to hide your hands. I'm sorry that I stared at them they way I did but I can only think they don't hurt now but I can understand why you're hiding them but I'm not going to scream because I would've done that already. It's just a little weird because last time before the event that just been, you had fingers so between then and now..." Then it hit her. "When we talked through the wall...did you not have your fingers then?...God I'm so sorry,all these fucking questions and you probably don't even want to answer them. If you don't want to, you don't have to." Katherine said moving back a little to give him space as she feared she was already invading his personal bubble. She looked at the ground, clutching the side of the skirt where she felt the scissors and her eyes lit up. There was something that hopefully would change the mood of the room.
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Post by Dorian F. Blund on Sept 15, 2020 11:33:09 GMT
Katherine didn’t seem too pleased with his question, though she quickly laughed it off, before retelling the events of her tipsy self stumbling around the lives of Silvio and Hannah. Dorian smiled softly at the image of it forming in his head, but also at the knowledge that Hannah seemed to be well. What a shame he couldn’t tell Geoff… or Ethan.
"So lucky for you, you won't ever experienced a drunk Katherine and never again will I down whiskey or even touch the stuff..."“Lucky me.” He teased. He wondered if he’d ever met Katherine alcoholized before; they’d seen each other at parties, she’d flirted with him. Had she ever drank in those situations? It wouldn’t be unusual. If so, she had at least seemed able to hold her on back then. “I hope the hangover wasn’t too bad, but I’m glad at least you are fine now, and that Silvio and miss Hannah are both well.”
There was a second of silence before he realized that Katherine was staring at him intently; curious, he followed her eyes to the hands in his pockets (either that, or she was looking at his crotch with unhidden interest; he would take the least worst option). Just as soon, she’d looked up and was holding his gaze. Squaring his shoulders, Dorian waited as she made her way to him, suddenly not feeling very confident about the conversation to come. Instead of anything he might have feared, she gently assured him that his hands did not bother her (which he had a hard time believing). Before he could express any form of relief, her train of thoughts led her to the conclusion he’d hoped he could keep under wraps for the time being.
"When we talked through the wall...did you not have your fingers then?” she asked at last, hesitant, and all he could do was purse his lips. He’d already had to witness Ethan’s look of utter betrayal, he did not want to get the same reaction from Katherine after this; god, how would SHE react if she came to learn about his link between their kidnapper and him? Should he have been honest about these things before it went any further? Should he stay silent about them now?
Just as soon, Katherine was trying to shrug of her own worries, seemingly blaming herself for simply speaking up, and Dorian took one hand out of his pocket and with a gesture, waved her guilt away; she was right to suspect, and she was right to wonder. She had done nothing wrong. “It’s alright. You blame yourself too much.” Dorian shook his head. Maybe starting with criticism wasn’t his best move. “You’re right… I’d already lost them back then. I didn’t tell you, because… I didn’t want to talk about it. The only people to know firsthand were whoever I was roomed with, because I couldn’t hide it from them for two weeks. I just…”
Dorian took a deep breath. He wasn’t sure how to describe it. What was he to say, that he was traumatized? It would probably be the most genuine, but it was such a demonstration of weakness that he couldn’t bring himself to speak the words. “… I was self-conscious, I suppose. I didn’t like looking at them, and I didn’t want others to look or know.” He lowered his gaze. “It’s not because I don’t trust you. I just…”
He tried to finish his sentence, to add anything else of value, but words escaped him. Finally, he shrugged, unable to speak further, and looked away from her in shame. What a weakling she would think him to be. So much for his reputation.
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Post by Katherine Sallow on Sept 15, 2020 15:30:17 GMT
“It’s alright. You blame yourself too much.You’re right… I’d already lost them back then. I didn’t tell you, because… I didn’t want to talk about it. The only people to know firsthand were whoever I was roomed with, because I couldn’t hide it from them for two weeks. I just…" Katherine looked back at Dorian, it was true she blamed herself a lot but then again she was use to it.“… I was self-conscious, I suppose. I didn’t like looking at them, and I didn’t want others to look or know.It’s not because I don’t trust you. I just…" Katherine saw him lowering her gaze, looking away from her and she didn't like it. She placed her hand on his cheek and turned his face to meet hers. "Hey it's ok." Katherine smiled trying to reassure him but knew that it would take a lot of time to convince him then slowly took her hand off his cheek.
"It came as shock and considering we are in this place, there wasn't much you or your previous roommates could do. I know you have some trust me in but trusting someone is a slow process sometimes. Like I've said before, you tell everything at your own pace except for right now when I piled on question after question. I mean if I was still tipsy...I'm sure my tipsy self would just...poke fun at them or just hold them for an uncomfortable amount of time." She tried to make light of a sad situation but Katherine didn't know if it was working. "But know when I say I'm fine with your fingerless hands." Then slowly took the hand that was out of his pocket, gently took it and just held it for a little bit, she wouldn't lie it was a little weird but still Katherine wanted to show Dorian that she wasn't scared at all.
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Post by Dorian F. Blund on Sept 18, 2020 19:07:07 GMT
A hand came to rest on his cheek, startling him as he was urged to look forward. When he did, he was met with her kind smile and reassuring words. The gentleness of her touch was enough to compel him to hold her gaze; he could feel the warmth from her hand break his emotional armor and enter his skin, and he was pretty sure that was why his cheeks gained a pinkish tint, and for no other reason. He did not look away for a second as she spoke, his gazing boring into hers, looking for any trace of deceit; Katherine was no liar, however. In fact, she was much too earnest for her own good at times, and she was trying to be honest, as awkward as it might be at times. He was certainly glad she hadn’t been tipsy when she found out, considering the description she made of the possibility, that was for sure.
Then, she reached into his pocket and softly took his other hand out, and he hated to admit his heart skipped a bit; he wasn’t sure why he’d had a small second of panic, but he had. She held him as gently now than her touch had been before, and Dorian could only lower his gaze to their linked hands, finding it hard to look at her with the sudden urge of emotions going through him.
“… Thank you, Kath.” His lump looked strange between her fingers. If he had his too, perhaps he could have linked them with hers. “… You’re truly a wonderful woman.”
He found himself lingering into her touch. It had a very comforting quality physical interaction didn’t usually have for him; even when he’d hugged Ethan, though he’d enjoyed it, this felt… different. He wondered what hugging Katherine would be like.
Dorian shook his head; those were dangerous thoughts…
“… Do you think us being roomed together means… we’re getting married soon? I’ve never been roomed with the same person twice before…” With both her hands touching him, he could clearly tell she was wearing no ring, since he couldn’t have checked that on himself. Yet… it seemed the most likely reason. Looking up into her eyes once more, he took a step towards her, not breaking physical contact. “… Are you scared?”
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Post by Katherine Sallow on Sept 18, 2020 20:32:53 GMT
“… Thank you, Kath.… You’re truly a wonderful woman.” Katherine looked up at Dorian, knowing full well her cheeks were turning a slight shade of pink. Not wanting to ruin this interaction she just smiled and looked back down at their hands before looking back at Dorian who’s eyes were locked on their hands. Part of her wished he still had fingers so maybe they could link but quickly shook away the idea. He doesn’t like you, stop it with these thoughts.
“… Do you think us being roomed together means… we’re getting married soon? I’ve never been roomed with the same person twice before…” Katherine nodded “I would think so. I wouldn’t be surprised if other couples were roomed together like Hannah and Geoff...oh god I hope Geoff is still alive. I haven’t seen or heard from since the wedding and that was months ago.” Katherine was worried for Geoff, he was a nice man and knew whenever he could would protect her closest friend.
“… Are you scared?” Katherine was taken back a bit when he took a step forward and she could feel the tears well up in her eyes. All she could nod and look at the floor, closing her eyes and letting the stray tears fall. Not wanting to look at Dorian while she silently cried “I very much am. I have no doubt those ankle bracelets will be back and that will be the 4th time I’ve been shocked during my time here. I won’t be surprised if the weddings have changed since the very first one…” Katherine then let go of Dorian’s hands and immediately wiped away her tears, trying not to show so much weakness before hugging herself. “I just...maybe if I didn’t confess my feelings at all. You wouldn’t be in this situation where you're forced to marry me.” Katherine covered her face with her hands, trying to calm herself down. “I’m sorry” she said, taking off her hands and slowly sitting back on the bed, taking a pillow and hugging it. “I guess one can say I have pre wedding nerves.” She said laughing nervously before shutting herself up again.
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Post by Dorian F. Blund on Sept 19, 2020 19:27:25 GMT
Katherine blushed at his compliment and promptly looked down; Dorian worried for a second he might have gone too far, but… something in her reaction told him it was a good kind of blush, and his lips curved upward in satisfaction. She agreed with his assumption before bringing up Geoff with worry, and Dorian’s eyes immediately lit up; it was rare to get to give good news in this place, but Katherine now knew everything bad he had to say, so he could actually only reassure her about the well-being of her friends with no secondary worries.
“Geoff is fine, he was in the room next to mine two days ago, with a man named Dean; apparently the name of the one who matched with Emer, the redhead, in our last game. I got to talk to him. He seems harmless enough.” After all, when Katherine had told him she trusted the man, Dorian had agreed in principle, but had chosen not to jump to conclusions. Now that he’d had the chance to actually communicate with him firsthand… he was more at ease. “He asked me to send his regards to miss Hannah if ever got to talk to her before him… he seems to have genuine affection for her. I was roomed with Ethan myself: thankfully, he was fine, though I had… a lot of bad news for him. A few people from the last time were his friends…”
A forlorn expression reached his face; the conversation from their first day together had been… a rollercoaster, to say the least. Bonding, emotions, solidarity… betrayal, and disheartening reveals. He had seen in his eyes, even when he’d told him that he was almost sure that Dorian was no traitor, that a part of him doubted, feared. Dorian did not want to be feared; not in that way. As a boss, maybe: one had to play the part. But not as a friend. Not as family.
As soon as he spoke, tears welled up in her eyes, and it only then hit him how genuinely terrified she was of their uncertain future together, even more so than him. How could she not be? She’d lost the man she loved to a game after being tricked into thinking he loved her and she may marry him; now, the new man she’d sworn love to, who hadn’t even reciprocated yet, would be forced to marry her, and who was to say how things would go from there. Would they truly be safe? Would something terrible happen at the wedding? He did not know, and neither did she. The unknown could be truly grim.
Katherine let go of his hand to wipe away at her cheeks. “I just...maybe if I didn’t confess my feelings at all. You wouldn’t be in this situation where you're forced to marry me.” “Eyh… don’t say that.” Dorian was quick to intervene with a quiet, soothing tone. Taking another step forward, he tentatively put a hand on her shoulder. There she was, putting the weight of the world on her shoulders again. “None of this is your fault. You’re not responsible for how you feel. And she had it out for us since the hangman. She clearly wanted to toy with everyone’s feelings there… This is the aftermath”
Of course, that was not to say Katherine’s confession hadn’t “helped” Mrs Baker’s choice at least a little. If she’d been ready to let her marry a man who did not love her after making her confess to him, then clearly she might find joy in the prospect of wedding her to the man she’d willingly confessed to and still wouldn’t take her. It seemed like the logical conclusion. And she surely had made sure to have multiple couples who cared for each other so that the death of the bride would be even more painful. But that was not to say Katherine had done everything wrong.
“I’m sorry. I guess one can say I have pre wedding nerves.” She finally said, hugging a pillow with a nervous chuckle. “All good. At least one of us here has to be in touch with their emotions.” He teased. “But I am serious when I say you’re not at fault. We know who is behind everyone’s suffering. If it makes you feel better, if I am to marry someone here, I am glad that it’s you. Thank you for choosing me. We’re in this together, okay? I won’t let anything happen to you.” He smiled down at her, hoping to reassure her; there was a limit to how much he could protect her in this hell, but… within his own limitations, he would do anything he could to protect his bride.
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Post by Katherine Sallow on Sept 19, 2020 22:13:05 GMT
When Katherine heard that Geoff was alright, she sighed with relief and couldn’t help but smile. Part of her hoped that Hannah would confess her feelings to Geoff. “So do you believe me a little more that Geoff is harmless?” Katherine said teasing Dorian, remembering last time they talked about Geoff, Dorian wasn’t so sure about Geoff’s innocence all those room switches ago. Hearing about Ethan and how Dorian told him all that happened in that event, her heart sank and couldn’t say much.
“None of this is your fault. You’re not responsible for how you feel. And she had it out for us since the hangman. She clearly wanted to toy with everyone’s feelings there… This is the aftermath” Katherine couldn’t help but wince when he mentioned hangman. It was still so fresh in her mind somehow and she hated but Dorian had a point and she slowly nodded in agreement. “And it seems she had it out for others for far longer before all of this happened."
As she hugged the pillow tighter, her mind wondered. If none of this happened where would she be right now? Probably in Washington with her Aunts and cousin Dorothy. “All good. At least one of us here has to be in touch with their emotions.” Katherine quickly snapped out of her thoughts and looked up to Dorian to quickly smile “Sometimes I feel it would be easier if I wasn’t such an emotional person. It would make this so much easier.” She sighed, looking away from him. She couldn’t look at him for too long in case it made things more awkward for them both. “But I am serious when I say you’re not at fault. We know who is behind everyone’s suffering. If it makes you feel better, if I am to marry someone here, I am glad that it’s you. Thank you for choosing me. We’re in this together, okay? I won’t let anything happen to you.” Katherine quickly covered her mouth behind the pillow and smiled widely, feeling once more a blush creep on her face. A dangerous thought came into her mind, she knew how he reacted last time but something told her perhaps he wouldn’t be so robotic about it this time. Katherine then put the pillow to one side, stood up from the bed and hugged him “Thank you Dorian. Hearing those words brings comfort to me.”
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Post by Dorian F. Blund on Sept 22, 2020 19:15:33 GMT
“And it seems she had it out for others for far longer before all of this happened."Dorian remained quiet, pondering over that sentence, unsure who exactly she meant. Other prisoners? Claudette, perhaps, whom they both knew had met the match-maker before they all came here. Unless someone – Hannah, perhaps – had told him, Katherine wasn’t supposed to know about his own relations with her… nor was he looking forward to her finding out.
“Sometimes I feel it would be easier if I wasn’t such an emotional person. It would make this so much easier.”“Well… sometimes it does.” Dorian confessed. After all, that was the whole reason why he’d always been taught to remain emotionless and cold; if one did not let feelings affect them, they could never be hurt. “… but it makes it ten times worse when something slips through the cracks and finally reaches you. You don’t know how to deal with any of it. Like a child.”
He smiled at her, untold sadness in his eyes. She might have missed it; she seemed adamant not to look at him directly for too long, probably still rehashing their last few interactions. To be frank, he would not want to be in her place right now. He could barely imagine how awkward she felt. Suddenly, she was grinning due to his words, and her glee brought an identical smile to his own lips. He liked seeing her happy; most of all, he liked knowing he was the reason behind her joy.
Then, a bit faster than he’d expected, she’d risen from the bed and started walking towards him without saying a word; he tensed only slightly, wondering what she wanted with him. He wasn’t sure what intentions she could possibly have, mostly without speaking to him at all, but it wasn’t long before he found out. The girl’s slender arms had wrapped themselves around his torso in a warm embrace, giving him kind words of thanks as she did. And Dorian didn’t move.
For a good minute, he wasn’t sure how to react, simply allowing the young woman to hug him to her heart’s content; he told himself he shouldn’t be so surprised by this outburst, it wasn’t the first time that she’d taken him into her arms without much of a thought or warning. But this felt different; it wasn’t an attempt to comfort him, a reaction to a bad situation. This was affectionate.
With extreme care, he surrounded her frail frame with his arms; she was small, much smaller than Ethan. It was as if he could bury her in his embrace and keep her there forever. Maybe she wouldn’t even complain. And thus he held her against him, careful not to squeeze too tight. Perhaps he’d judged hugs too harshly.
“… You’re welcome. You too.” he spoke against her ear. “Just having you in the room always brings me comfort.” he confessed. Maybe this whole situation wouldn’t be entirely too bad after all?
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Post by Katherine Sallow on Sept 22, 2020 23:42:13 GMT
Katherine was ready for Dorian to unwrap her arms from him but to her surprise he didn’t. Instead she felt his arms wrap around her frame and she couldn’t help but blush a little more. Katherine felt safe in his arms and she hoped they could stay like that for a while. “… You’re welcome. You too.Just having you in the room always brings me comfort.” Katherine pulled back to look him in the eyes and smiled “Do my ears deceive me? Did Mr Blund just say that I bring him comfort?” She said in a teasing manner. She looked away and giggled a little. “I know a couple of months back you wouldn’t have hugged me back at all. All I would get was a pat on the shoulder.” She said remembering how the first time she hugged him it wasn’t exactly like the one she was receiving right now.
Katherine leaned back in just to enjoy the hug just a little longer when she remembered something. She pulled back slowly and quickly turned around just so she wouldn’t make Dorian uncomfortable. She lifted her jumper up a little and saw Cassim’s scarf, quickly she unwrapped the scarf from around her waist and took the scissors off and placed them on bed. Katherine looked at the scarf, smiling she then turned around and looked at Dorian. “I almost forgot to show you this.” She then extended her hands out to reveal Cassim’s scarf. “It’s his scarf…”
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Post by Dorian F. Blund on Sept 23, 2020 23:31:29 GMT
When Katherine pulled back to look up at him, he felt the air catch in his throat; from this position, their faces were almost uncomfortably close, and for a second he thought she was going to kiss him. But she only smiled at him instead… before teasing him relentlessly. His last name sounded strange coming from her mouth; he found he liked it better when she was less formal. How ironic.
“Just because Mr Blund isn’t in touch with his emotions doesn’t mean he can’t be honest once in a while.” The pink tone refused to leave his cheeks the more they spoke; she had a talent for having this effect on him, lately. “And yes… you do. I’m glad to have you with me.”
Her next comment saved him from having to find what else to add without making a fool of himself when he was already being more open than he was used to; and he couldn’t help but smile, choosing not to take her reminder of their past interaction as a complaint, but as a jest.
“Ah! But I’ve received some training since then. You’ll come to know I’m pretty experienced in hugging now.” he joked, before immediately shaking his head. “That sounded ridiculous. Let’s just say I’m… getting used to it.”
And so was she, judging by the way she was burying herself into his arms once more, and he knew immediately he wouldn’t push her away, instead resting his cheek against her hair; it was softer than he’d expected, after all the time they’d spent here with very little access to proper body products. Much to his surprise, she was the one to break contact, turning away from him, and… lifting her clothes? Okay, maybe things were escalating a bit faster than he was comfortable with. From somewhere within her attire, she materialized a pair of scissors, now resting on the bed; it was only then that he remembered the object she’d received from Della’s hands before her tragic end. Just as his thoughts were catching up to him and he started to understand what she was doing, she turned back to him, a very familiar item in hand.
“Oh…” was all he could say for a time; he’d known that she had it for a while, yet… seeing it at last was still such a shock. Without thinking, or even asking for permission, his hand rose to stroke the expensive material, his movement awkward as he forgot for a second he no longer had fingers. His palm rested on the fabric softly, as if only looking at it too roughly would be enough to break it before his very eyes. “… you’ve taken good care of it.” He spoke at last, emotion feeling his voice. He should be able to internalize the facts and move on by now, yet…
His eyes left the scarf to look into her eyes instead. Did she feel the same as him about this?
“Sometimes, I forget he’s gone. Or rather…” he pondered his words for a second. How to describe it before being disrespectful? “... I think part of me hasn’t accepted it yet.”
It was pathetic, wasn’t it? Weeks had past already, and yet there he was, still incapable of accepting the truth. What a child.
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Post by Katherine Sallow on Sept 24, 2020 0:14:08 GMT
Katherine laughed at his hugging joke and shook her head “No it didn’t sound ridiculous. It sounded quite cute actually.” She then quickly looked away from embarrassment. Perhaps she shouldn’t have said that out loud but she couldn’t help but smile. It was nice now to see a less colder version of Dorian but part of her had a feeling why now he was showing such emotion and part of her answer was right in her hand.
As Katherine stood there with the scarf in her hand she could only look at Dorian and see how he would react. It was almost time stood still for Katherine, all he did was look at the material in her hand before he rested his palm on the fabric “You’ve taken good care of it.” She sniffed trying not to cry and all she could do was nod. She didn’t want to cry yet again in front of him so she bit her lip and kept quiet. Dorian then looked into her eyes “Sometimes, I forget he’s gone. Or rather… I think part of me hasn’t accepted it yet.” Katherine looked away as she felt the guilt rise in her. How she wished that she was still unable to accept Della and Cassim’s fate but sadly she accepted it rather quickly.
Tears welled up in her eyes and she sighed “I wish I could say the same but...I accepted their deaths so quickly, it sounds like I don’t even care but I did. I feel so cold hearted for thinking like that but I've seen and heard what this place is and for me I can’t dwell on the past, it could get me killed.” Katherine looked back up, tears falling down her eyes “But that doesn’t mean that you are pathetic for thinking that way Dorian.” Katherine quickly shut herself up, thinking she had only made the situation worse.
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Survivor
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Not the change of pace I was looking for
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Post by Dorian F. Blund on Sept 24, 2020 10:36:02 GMT
It was hard to keep his emotions in check when Katherine herself seemed so close tears. His last comment had clearly struck a nerve with her, and for a second he thought she might be feeling the same as him, but she quickly proved him wrong.
“Well… you are right to say dwelling on the past might get us killed. It’s something I remind myself of constantly, and I keep telling myself not to waste energy on expecting them to show up again. It’s not wrong of you to feel that. It’s simply that…” how to explain this to someone who hadn’t lived through the same experiences as he, who claimed to love him, but surely didn’t know how his brain worked, how he’d been wired since birth? “I have… a difficult relationship with mourning. I’d never experienced loss until… rather recently in my life. And every time I’ve done so since, I’ve witnessed the body of the departed, saw with my own two eyes they were gone for real.” He took a deep breath. This was the part he was most worried about; he knew very simple phrasing might make him look like an unhinged sociopath who delighted in grim experiences and witnessing decay. “… I think because I never saw him die… just disappear behind a door… my brain doesn’t want to accept it’s over. I know it is. Consciously, I know. But subconsciously…” he shook his head. What else could he say? No one ever wanted to see the corpse of their loved ones, it was a dreadful experience to have; yet there he was, complaining that this was all he was missing to move on. Now, he could only hope that she wouldn’t think of him as deranged.
As he looked away from her, worried about her reaction, his eyes settled on the desk; he’d barely given the furniture in the room any attention until now, for he’d become bored of investigating in a place that seemed to want to give him no useful answers; Mrs Baker was insane and going on a murder spree, what else was there to figure out? But something interesting was now on display. Moving away from Katherine for just a second to take a look, he dreaded what he might find. After all, the last time he’d found a note intentionally placed to make sure it was found, it had come with a corpse outside the window, and orders to dye his hair; his roots were all but black now, perhaps Mrs Baker wanted a round 2. Or… something much, much worse. He was roomed with his bride-to-be, after all.
Yet, when he looked… all he saw was what seemed to be a makeshift memorial, simple but striking.
Gone but never forgotten.
Cassim Della Lydia Huxley
Rest in peace.
His heart grew heavy at the sight. He wasn’t sure he recognized the writing, though it seemed familiar. What mattered was the message. The intention.
“Kath, look.” He called softly, his eyes still set on the piece of paper. How much this brought him back; he missed the days when these four and Kamala were the only ones they’d lost. Deaths now were only multiplying. “We’re not the only ones who mourn them.”
This had to be a good thing, right? It should be comforting, soothing, to know their loved ones were not forgotten, that others held them in their memory, and missed them. It was what he should want.
Then why did it only make him feel worse?
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