Welcome to therapy (Tag Noah)

[Hannah van de Berg]

The gass had knocked hannah out once again. She faintly felt how her body hit the floor but was too far gone to be aware of the pain.

There it was once again. The dark. The nothingness she had been so scared off before. The silence. She tried to call out but she had no voice. It was all so tiring.. the theories, spreading information to everyone, trying to stay sane. She did not know for how long she could do it. Her time with jess was nice, she liked the redhaired girl a lot. It had also been good to talk with geoff again even if she had been too much of a coward to bring up how she felt and ask him how he felt in return.
The silence was almost like a crushing burden on her shoulders. She was always worrying about everything and everyone. She was not an extravert but being around people made her not think about her own problems. Sadly in this place it worked against her. She was like a sponge. Sucking up water until the sponge was full and the water had to come out. Hannah was not sure if she had now reached her breaking point.

Slowly she opened her eyes. Her eyes were dull. There was no desire to get up. No desire to spread whatever info she had gathered. No. She just wanted to scream in her pillow until she felt at least something. The brunette blinked as she woke up in the same room she had been in before. Did the woman change up the routine? "Jessica?" She asked softly as she looked around. But there was no jessica. Instead a man was in the bed jessica had been in. Hannah got up. "Wait.. noah..?" She asked as she got to the man. "Noah is that you..?" She asked.
Inmediatly the information about helena resurfaced. She had to tell him, even if she did not feel like info dumping once again.

[Noah Hernandez]

Darkness.

No..it wasn’t darkness, it was red.

Dim red lights surrounded the room, surrounded him. The room was a rectangular shape, yet he could’ve sworn it felt more like a box than a room. Trapped with no way out.

Noah took in his surroundings. It was quiet for the most part, except for the faded drumming noise coming from a distance. Yet it was so muffled it hardly caught his attention. He squinted, as if trying to make sense of his area better, trying to see if something was there.

He took a step forward, and immediately he felt something…odd. His foot had stepped in something, like a liquid with thicker. Sticker. He looked down and saw a deep red puddle touching his shoe. The red lighting must’ve been making it that kind of color. And then the architect noticed something even more peculiar…the puddle became a trail.

Noah finally took notice of the drumming noise, as it was becoming a little bit more loud, but he quickly shook it off and kept walking forward, his gaze staring directly at the floor. He took more and more steps, and the puddle got bigger and bigger…until it stopped.

Stopped at large mass on the floor, with a face all too familiar to Noah.

The puddle wasn’t water.

Huxley’s open and whited out eyes started back at him, into his very soul. Noah stumbled backwards, and the back of his leg bumped into something else. He quickly spun around to see the young Sawyer, nearly nude and bald…and in the same state Huxley was in. Suddenly, all of the faces Noah as gotten to meet and connect with were on the ground, lifeless.

The drums were getting louder now.

Noah kept trying to find a way out, but he couldn’t There was so much death, so much blood. His hands and clothes were covered in it too, why hadn’t he noticed it before. In all his frantic panicking, he saw someone else. Someone standing upright, and alive. A woman, shadowed in darkness, dripping with the same red substance that covered the floors.

The sound wasn’t a drum.

“Why couldn’t you save them?”

---

“Noah is that you…?”

The architect shot upright in shock, his heard pounding against his chest. His hand clutched his shirt, hyperventilating and sweat pouring from his brow. He tried to take deep breaths, but his body was still violently shaking.

Noah finally turned to the person next to him. “M-Miss Hannah?”

Her lifeless corpse still lingered in his mind, but seeing her here gave him comfort. It was good to finally see a familiar face again.

[Hannah van de Berg]

Hannah was ready to try and wake noah up with a gentle shake at his shoulders however before she could noah shot upright in a sitting position. Shaking and sweating.

immediately all her self pity of before was gone. Was he having a panic attack?! Hannah closed her eyes for a second to think. what did she have to do. Calm him down. Distract him make him focus on something to snap him out of his anxiety. Comfort him. Make him feel as if he was safe.

She quickly reached for the tray of food and drinks that was left in the room and shoved it next to the bed as she tended to noah. " yes.. It's me.. I'm here.. please breathe.." She said as she got on her knees as she handed him a glass of water. " here.. you look like you can use it." She said. " Are you okay..Are you hurt..?" She asked as she gave him a worried look. She would have put a hand on his shoulder but was not sure if he would appreciate that or get even more anxious. For now she could not risk it. He had to calm down first.
She gave him a weak smile still looking worried. What had happened to him..?

[Noah Hernandez]

Noah’s shaking hand slowly took the glass of water from Hannah, taking small sips as to not accidentally choke on it. He was still soaking in his own sweat, breaking somewhat heavily. The images came back to him in quick flashes. His sleeping schedule hadn’t been this bad since that one project he did a couple years ago, or even a bit closer to home when Rose first left him. But this wasn’t normal. None of this way. Even if he manages to survive...well....who can truly live after seeing the horrors they’ve all witnessed? They’ve all seen death up close and personal, all at the hands of someone else. No one should expect people to simply move on after that! No one should...

Noah turned his attention back to Hannah, who’s eyes were layered with deep concern. He couldn’t blame her, last she see saw him he was in a far better state than this.

“Are you....are you hurt?” The brunette asked.

The architect hesitated before weakly shaking his dead. “I...I’m fine, Miss Hannah. It...it was just...a nightmare,” he said, his voice still trembling. He clearly wasn’t helping to ease her conscious about his state of well-being.

[Hannah van de Berg]

Hannah gently handed him the glass as the man was slowly drinking small sips of water. She looked him over. He did not look physically hurt. That was good. But the alternative was still bad. Something had happened that got him this upset. As the man was shaking and trying to calm himself down from his horrified state of mind Hannah wondered what she could do to help him. In her mind she went over the things Noah could be this upset about. Was it the lady he talked about earlier? Hannah thought about the event and what had happened, trying to ignore the sting of pain that came with it. Noah had not been in that event right? But.. Did he get in contact with one of the men who were? Had he been close to one of them, or worse had he been close to someone who died? Hannah took a deep breath breathing out through her nose. She could still hear Maya's cries in her head when she had mentioned Cassim and Della. She had broken down in tears and after listening for a bit it was clear that maya needed mathias to comfort her. The brunette looked away. She still felt bad about bringing such bad news.

When she noticed Noah was coming back to his senses she looked back at him making eye contact with him. She did not want to force him to talk but she did not believe he was fine in the slightest. She frowned a little as she did not looked too impressed. " Noah.." She said softly. She sighed as she bit the inside of her lip a bit. What to do. This could be overstepping some boundaries however she felt like he was not honest. If he was this panicked it was better to get things out of his system instead of bottling things up.

She got up from her spot on the ground as she a bit hesitantly sat on the edge of his bed. "Noah, It's okay.. you don't have to tell me you're okay when you're not. I.. Honestly don't feel fine myself and you are doing way worse then me" She gave him a weak and hopefully comforting smile. " What made you this upset..?" She asked softly.

[Noah Hernandez]

The architect sat there silently for some moments as he pondered Hannah’s statement. She’s clearly worried about him, but he didn’t wish to trouble her with his problems. More so, he wasn’t exactly sure how comfortable he was about opening himself up like this. He can say it was “just a nightmare” all he wants, but he knows it was rooted in deep seeded fears and guilt.

Noah’s eyes met hers, and he trembled a bit as he prepared to speak. “I....I lost a friend to this place, Miss Hannah. And it’s...it’s taken it’s toll on me.”

He wanted to tell her more, he was getting better at this. This whole talking about his feelings sort of thing. Except everytime he tried, he felt himself choke up, as if he was about to cry. This emotional torture, this mental pain, will it ever end? He supposed it helped that the young woman was rather understanding. And considering fresh from Huxley’s death was the union of strangers, a familiar face (one he knew he could trust) was definitely relieving of some of that pain.

[Hannah van de Berg]

Hannah was silent giving noah time to take in what she had said and find the words to reply to her. He avoided her look for a bit and hannah considered that maybe noah needed a bit more space and did not trust her enough yet to truly open up, and honestly that was only fair.

When he finally looked up to her Hannah focussed her attention on him again ignoring her mind that was already making up reasons in her head. His words hit a bit close to home as she could almost feel his sadness through the words he spoke. She had thought about this being the reason. as far as hannah knew there had nobody been killed after

".. You mean huxley..?" She asked softly as she felt the lump in her throat returning to her. She gave him a sad look. She knew. Before she thought she would be send to another room she had added his name to the memorial paper. She was so frustrated and sad. Why did people who had nothing wrong have to suffer?
" I met him here.. I.. Noah I am so sorry.." she said as she looked up to him again trying to stay strong for him, the last thing he needed was comforting her while he himself was already in such a bad state of mind right?

" Mathias told me what happened " She said as she felt how her voice cracked and hannah knew that her "being strong" facade was not as strong as she wished it to be. " He deserved.. so much better then this. He was so kind and willing to help someone he only just met.." She said softly. She would have gotten noah's hand or given him a hug if she did not think that she might scare the man into silence. Huxley had been familiar to noah. They were friends. They were close. This must be so hard for him. If it were katherine or someone else she had been close with before the whole incident.. Hannah knew she would be inconsolable.

[Noah Hernandez]

Hannah paused for a moment. “You mean Huxley?”

Noah could feel his heart skipping a beat, as if time momentarily stopped and preventing him from breathing. He didn’t know that....she knew Huxley. Or that Huxley had informed her of their friendship. Then again it was Huxley, he was an open book (even when he probably shouldn’t have been). Thinking about those things got the architect depressed again, and it just came flooding back. He held his breath for longer than he was willing to admit as to not cause a scene in front of the brunette.

He listened closely to Hannah’s words, trying to use them to drown out his own negative thoughts. His gaze shifted away from her to hide his hazy eyes.

“It was not....a peaceful death unfortunately,” Noah choked out. He didn’t want to talk about it, but he’s so used to carrying out the role of informing others that he can’t stop himself on even things that make him as upset as this. It was almost like an unhealthy addiction to spread truths and information no matter how badly it effected his own mental state. No person should have to recount or even a witness someone slowly dying in their arms. But that was the repeating pattern wasn’t it? This place didn’t care about what a person should and should not be able to handle. It’s only purpose was to make them suffer.

[Hannah van de Berg]

Seeing his reaction hannah knew that she had been right. She bit her lip. She still felt incredibly sad about the death of the kind stranger that she had seen as one of her allies. She saw him holding his breath and avoid her eyes for a moment and hannah herself bit the inside of her cheek a little. She did not want to cry either but felt the feeling to do so building up.

“It was not....a peaceful death unfortunately,” Noah was able to bring out. Judging by his reaction he did not want to talk about what had happened. Hannah knew how to talk to people when they felt down but this was different. Maybe this time she had bitten off more then she could chew. Noah and Huxley had been such close friends and just like Dorian had seen Cassim, Noah had seen Huxley die. How come it was easier for her to console someone behind a stone wall instead of being right there?

Hannah decided to give in, she could tell with his reaction if she crossed a line or not. She gently put a hand on his in a comforting manner as she looked at noah. " You don't have to talk about it if you are not able to right now." she said softly. It just happened. It would not be fair if she forced him to relive it. " If it helps we can talk about something else, and If you later feel the need to get things off your chest, I'm here" She said softly.

[Noah Hernandez]

Noah could only glance at Hannah, giving her a warm smile. But deep inside he felt broken and empty. The memory was too fresh to be discussed, and worst of all he was refusing to let himself process it. To go through the grieving process. Perhaps it’s fear, yes? Fear that if he does go through with it, he won’t be able to fight it off. That it’ll just make him worse. So he chooses to ignore it instead. In hopes that that’ll at least...prolong it.

Finally his cold and clouded eyes faced the brunette’s. “You’re a good person, Miss Hannah. Your support is most appreciated. I would be happy to discuss to whatever might be on your mind. Perhaps you know more information about what’s happening here?”

[Hannah van de Berg]

Hannah looked at noah a little concerned still. Please say something.. anything..
The last thing he needed was to shut down completely. Although she did not think she could blame him if he did. This was traumatic and it made the other traumatizing events look like nothing. She felt her stomach turn at the thought of losing someone like katherine who was like a sister to her.

Finally noah spoke. He did not want to talk about it yet. That was allright. Perhaps she was not the right person to open up to. His kind words were apreciated but she was worried about how empty his gaze was.

"Ofcourse.." she started. She would help him take his mind off things. "Last roomswitch i spoke to Geoff.. he is doing okay" she assured him. "Have you by any chance heard the name helena before?"