Post by Hannah van de Berg on Aug 5, 2020 19:05:53 GMT
The brunette slowly backed away from the wall. Her eyes were itching. The tears had been irritating her eyes. It was late however. She glanced across the room where jessica was sleeping. She couldn't just go and start having a mental breakdown now. It would have to be extremely scary to wake up seeing your roommate sob her eyes out, and out of nowhere nonetheless. Somewhere she wanted to walk over to jess and wake her up maybe she had known huxley as well, even if hannah did not remember her mentioning him in the list of people she knew. She did not want to risk it if she were to be honest. It would be selfish to just wake her up for her own selfish needs. Comfort. Was it really a selfish need at this point? And if Jess knew huxley, would hannah be able to comfort her as well?
Hannah took a deep breath as she made her way to the small wooden desk. It was now the host of a sheet of paper, a crayon and a cactus. Not the best memorial but something at least. There was barely any light but just enough to make out what was written down.
Gone but never forgotten.
Cassim
Della
Lydia
Rest in peace.
The names were once again staring back at her. And now there was another one to add to that list. The words might be a but empty, a bit standard. However hannah wanted to make sure they all mattered equally. No speeches. Just to inform and make sure they would indeed not be forgotten in the madness that was this place.
Hannah breathed out. With a shaking hand she picked up the crayon and added huxley to the list. She was aware that this might be a lot for the next people in the room but hannah could not let their names die with them. She put down the crayon next to the paper. If there were people to add others could do so.
After adding huxley's name hannah walked away from the desk. She checked her watch. It was almost time. Time for the gass. It was not fair. This whole place did not make sense, it even contradicted itself. She jess and geoff could only guess what the reasoning was and how they could survive but they never knew for certain.
Using the sleeve of the dress she had found she managed to wipe away the tears. The make-up mrs baker had put on her had been long gone, however hannah hated the feeling of her slightly curly hair sticking to her wet cheeks. She missed hairelastics a lot. The woman looked up to look at the camera in the room. She wondered if the lady was watching her right now. And if she was what was she thinking? Hannah knew that most likely nobody was watching or even listening at this point but she couldn't bear to think that they were just in this room doing nothing at all while this lady just bailed on them to go to bed. To leave her dolls alone with their panic attacks and mental breakdowns.
Hannah was just so extremely done with sitting around and feeling like a prisoner. If she did not have claustrophobia this would be the time to develop it. Whenever hannah had been faced with a problem she could not control she had the bad habit of running. Whenever she was bullied by her brother she ran. When they grew older and her mother told her to grow up, she ran. And now there was no place to run to. Here she had to sit tight and face her feelings and thoughts and they were not always kind to her. It was not even fair. She had been following all the rules. There was no use in being here..
"I did everything you asked of me.. what do you want from me.."
She asked softly. She was tired. All this info, all these theories but no facts.
"I want to understand.."
She said as she sighed once again her breath shaking. She held herself ready for the gass to sweep her of her feet.
"Is that too much to ask..?"
Hannah took a deep breath as she made her way to the small wooden desk. It was now the host of a sheet of paper, a crayon and a cactus. Not the best memorial but something at least. There was barely any light but just enough to make out what was written down.
Gone but never forgotten.
Cassim
Della
Lydia
Rest in peace.
The names were once again staring back at her. And now there was another one to add to that list. The words might be a but empty, a bit standard. However hannah wanted to make sure they all mattered equally. No speeches. Just to inform and make sure they would indeed not be forgotten in the madness that was this place.
Hannah breathed out. With a shaking hand she picked up the crayon and added huxley to the list. She was aware that this might be a lot for the next people in the room but hannah could not let their names die with them. She put down the crayon next to the paper. If there were people to add others could do so.
After adding huxley's name hannah walked away from the desk. She checked her watch. It was almost time. Time for the gass. It was not fair. This whole place did not make sense, it even contradicted itself. She jess and geoff could only guess what the reasoning was and how they could survive but they never knew for certain.
Using the sleeve of the dress she had found she managed to wipe away the tears. The make-up mrs baker had put on her had been long gone, however hannah hated the feeling of her slightly curly hair sticking to her wet cheeks. She missed hairelastics a lot. The woman looked up to look at the camera in the room. She wondered if the lady was watching her right now. And if she was what was she thinking? Hannah knew that most likely nobody was watching or even listening at this point but she couldn't bear to think that they were just in this room doing nothing at all while this lady just bailed on them to go to bed. To leave her dolls alone with their panic attacks and mental breakdowns.
Hannah was just so extremely done with sitting around and feeling like a prisoner. If she did not have claustrophobia this would be the time to develop it. Whenever hannah had been faced with a problem she could not control she had the bad habit of running. Whenever she was bullied by her brother she ran. When they grew older and her mother told her to grow up, she ran. And now there was no place to run to. Here she had to sit tight and face her feelings and thoughts and they were not always kind to her. It was not even fair. She had been following all the rules. There was no use in being here..
"I did everything you asked of me.. what do you want from me.."
She asked softly. She was tired. All this info, all these theories but no facts.
"I want to understand.."
She said as she sighed once again her breath shaking. She held herself ready for the gass to sweep her of her feet.
"Is that too much to ask..?"