So Tired Of It All [TAG: Keiari]

[Ethan Kaul]

Waking up in hell was never easy. Once more Ethan opened his eyes in this godforsaken place, knowing that he had been gassed again. God, how many times had it been now? How much more of this could his body take? He was weak from having only eaten stale bread for the past month, his exercise routine long abandoned due to lack of energy. His toenail was gone, the pain replaced by a dull ache, his socks still stained with blood and his brain unable to erase the images from his time in the basement. But more than that, his spirit was well and truly broken, and as he stared up at the ceiling, he wondered when this would ever end.

By this point, he was too exhausted to even cry; the only thing he was able to do was just lay there motionless, thinking of all he had lost. These losses weren't just bodily - he had long gotten over the whole toenail thing - but physical and mental too. Physically, he'd lost Sawyer, Evan, and David. He had no clue where they could be, obviously he assumed Sawyer and David would be together, but where was the black-haired man with 'worthless' forever etched into his skin? And were they all okay, were they safe, how were they coping? Mentally... he had lost himself, or at least it certainly felt like it. If he looked in the mirror, he was sure that a very different person from who he'd known would be staring back at him.

He needed to be strong. That was what he'd told himself over and over. And yet, in that moment, he felt very, very weak.

Rolling over with a grunt, he was met with dark hair that faded into blue. Keiari. Relief flooded his veins that she was alive, that she wasn't alone anymore, since he knew it had made her panic before. Yet, even at this revelation, he couldn't bring a smile to his face. He felt... hollow. Empty. Glad that she was okay, but unable to express it.

Worthless.

"Keiari?" he murmured, his voice hoarse.

[Keiari Saul]

BANG, BANG, BANG!

Keiari was running, running again. The mad woman running after her, faster than ever. No matter what she had did, she just couldn't get away from her. No matter the route she took she was always brought back to square one. 

"You fucking slut!! I am going to kill you!! You bitch!"

The mad lady kept screaming over and over, shooting off a gun that seemed to never run out of bullets. All while it sounded like electricity was all around them. So much when the girl looked at the dirty, beige walls- she took noticed how it looked like there were electric currents on them. And if she were to touch it, she would surely get electrocuted. She was trapped, couldn't do anything. 

"Please, please just leave me alone!!"

"Shut up!!! You worthless, miserable, disgusting slut!! Just do what you're worth and die!"

Another bullet flew passed her face, causing the small girl to gasp, tripping over her own two feet. Hitting the ground hard. She coughed and turned around, ready to see the mad woman above her, ready to meet her fate... But instead she got...

"Daniel..."

Relief filled her, he was smiling down at her. He got out? He saved her! They could save the others! The girl went to get on her feet when the gun was now pointed at her, making her freeze. Eyes looking up to see Daniel's face had changed into one of disgust and utter hatred. 

"Daniel... Daniel why-..."

"You honestly thought I would love you? Didn't you hear her? you're a slut, you're pathetic, worthless. All you do is crumble, beg and tell people you'll do anything for them just to get on their good side. Don't you realize? Everyone was right about you, you're nothing... You're ugly. No wonder you're here, you do deserve to die. After all, you couldn't even keep one promise..."

Daniel bent over and grabbed her by her throat, causing her to gasp before slamming her into the wall. Causing a shock to go through her, a scream ringing from her until it stopped. She held onto his arm, pulling down on his sleeve, pleading with her eyes for him to stop.

"Daniel... please!"

"You promised, promised you'd keep yourself safe.. That you wouldn't put yourself in danger. But look what you did, you stupid..."

He paused and his grip on her throat got tighter, so tight she couldn't breathe or speak anymore, forced to watch in horror as the gun was brought to her forehead.

"I agree... you should die. You fucking slut!!!"

BANG!

---

Keiari gasped, screaming a she jolted forward into a sitting position, waking up. Totally unaware that Ethan had called out her name a few seconds before. Eyes wide and straight forward, breathing and sweating hard. She looked around the room instantly and noticed she had been moved... Wait.. she wasn't dead? But... but that lady caught... She...

She went to back up, but the moment she felt someone behind, the moment her hand had touched Ethan's arm, the girl suddenly turned around faster than anything, a terrified scream ripped from her throat as she fell off the bed and curled up into a protective ball against the wall.

"Please don't hurt me!!! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

The cries left her, her stressed, traumatized self not opening her eyes to realize it was Ethan.

[Ethan Kaul]

As soon as her name left his lips, the dark haired girl was screaming, jolting up in bed. Ethan jumped, nearly falling onto the floor from the surprise. 

"Keiari! Keiari, hey, what —"

"Please don't hurt me!!! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Keiari screamed, falling off the bed and curling into a ball. Ethan watched her for a second, shell shocked, before gently climbing off of the bed and going over to her, but not making a move to touch her. The pain that he had been feeling was momentarily gone from his mind, his entire focus now on Keiari. Whatever she was going through, it was a hell of a lot worse than how he felt, that was for sure. 

"Keiari, it's me, Ethan. I'm not going to hurt you, okay? There's nobody here that is going to hurt you."

His voice was soothing, the same voice he used when working as a doctor. He needed her to be okay, he needed to hold her. 

He needed to know what had happened.

[Keiari Saul]

"Keiari, it's me, Ethan. I'm not going to hurt you, okay? There's nobody here that is going to hurt you."

That voice... it was familiar... it also felt real. Perhaps it really was him? Still, she was afraid it was another nightmare- not wanting to be tricked again. The words that had been spoken were running throughout her head. They were right... they were really right. She was worthless, pathetic, stupid, a slut.... She probably got Teddy in a lot of trouble. The scene of him bending on his knee, staring at the woman in terror. What happened to him? Was he okay? Was Daniel okay?! Was any of them okay!?

"I'll be good, I promise..."

She whimpered out, gaining the little bit of courage she needed to slowly look up at him. Red, puffy eyes looking at him- mascara stains on her cheeks. She looked like an absolute mess. Her hair was more curly than he had ever seen it before. If anything she was giving off signs that something traumatic had happened.

"She.... gun... Ethan..."

Keiari couldn't speak, too stressed out to.

[Ethan Kaul]

"I'll be good, I promise..."

Ethan frowned, bending down next to her. What did Keiari mean by that? Had she too been part of one of these games? The thought struck fear into his heart, that yet another person he cared about could have been hurt. She finally looked up at him slowly, her eyes red, her mascara trailing down her cheeks like two black snakes, and he felt his heart sink.

"She.... gun... Ethan..."

"I'm right here," he murmured, "I promise you're safe Keiari. Whatever happened before, it won't happen here, okay? I'll keep you safe."

He needed to know what had happened to her, needed to know whether there were more possible marriages, more "dares", more anything. Every little titbit of information he received was filling in a piece of the puzzle, giving him even more of an idea of what they were facing. And, if a gun was involved... well, this place may be as deadly as he'd feared.

"Are you hurt?"

[Keiari Saul]

Keiari stared at Ethan, watching as he bent down next to her. A bit of her wincing, not on purpose, more a reaction after what she had been through. Scared that her dream would come to life, or the mad woman was going to come back in. She wanted to be held, but at the same time didn't want to be touched. The feeling of the taser still on her back, still on her whole body. She was so sore, so stressed. The loud bangs of the gun still echoing in her mind. Why couldn't they go home?! What did she do to deserve that! Why did that lady want to hurt her so much?

"You slut! You're worthless! Bitch!"

Words from her dreamed echoed in her mind as well.

"I promise you're safe Keiari. Whatever happened before, it won't happen here, okay? I'll keep you safe."

She wanted to believe him, believe him like how she had believed Daniel. But... she was forced to the face the awful truth. No one could protect her, and she couldn't protect them. She was stupid to believe she could protect everyone, stupid to believe that she could try to make a deal with the woman. No... no.. she just had to obey! Had to obey and deal with whatever was thrown at her. She would obey, she wouldn't anger that woman ever again... Not again.

"Are you hurt?"

Keiari looked down at her trembling... It didn't feel like she had been bruised or hurt in anyway, just again- super sore from being tased...

"N-no... just... sore... This- this mad woman tazed me... I."

Her voice trembled, her throat closing up. She needed to tell him! She knew he wanted to know why she was like this, he deserved to know- all of them did!

"T-Teddy... he... he visited me in that room... all alone. He helped me out. But- but this woman, this big, Asian lady had barged in the room... W-with a gu-gun and-and a tazer. S-she was furious... I-I don't know why... That gun, she pointed it at me... I ran, I got out of the room, but she chased me!"

She was starting to get more frantic as she spoke, relieving the event...

"She shot at me!! I made it to the first floor! I ran into a kitchen to hide but she found me! She shot at me again, and then again- her gun jammed though and I grabbed a knife and ran into what had to be a dining room. B-but it was so dark- I could only see in front of me... I heard nothing but she appeared behind me, I don't know how... I... she tazed me Ethan! I don't know what I did, I don't know why she was so angry, but-but.... I can't disobey her... I-I can't.... I..."

She felt sick and covered her mouth, bending over and trying to keep herself from puking.

"Ethan... I can't do this anymore!! I wanna go home!!"

She cried, body completely bent forward as she laid on her knees, crying and coughing against the cold floor.

[Ethan Kaul]

"N-no... just... sore... This- this mad woman tazed me... I."

Tazed her? Ethan's stomach twisted. First the mention of a gun, and now this. Whatever had happened to Keiari had clearly been traumatic, perhaps worse than what he'd endured. After all, he had barely been hurt. The dark-haired girl, meanwhile, was sobbing on the floor, begging for her life. It was as though they'd taken two steps back since their last room, both of them even more broken than before.

"Who..." he began, but she continued, her body shaking, growing more frantic with every second that passed.

"T-Teddy... he... he visited me in that room... all alone. He helped me out. But- but this woman, this big, Asian lady had barged in the room... W-with a gu-gun and-and a tazer. S-she was furious... I-I don't know why... That gun, she pointed it at me... I ran, I got out of the room, but she chased me!"

Ethan blinked, biting the inside of his cheek, his heart sinking further and further in his chest. She'd been chased by their kidnapper, or at least, who he presumed was her kidnapper. She'd nearly died... The thought of her, terrified, running for her life made his fists clench, and he took a few deep breaths, trying to compose himself. He needed to be strong for her. He'd promised himself that he would be strong.

"Teddy... the man who visited you before? He was in your room?" he began slowly, trying to take it all in, "He helped you? What did he do?"

If this Teddy was an ally, surely that was a good thing? He could unlock their doors, help them escape... If he could just unlock enough people's doors, one woman and her gun would be no match for all of them. There were no electric ankle bracelets there.

"God... Keiari, I'm so sorry... I wish we could both be home too..." he murmured, "Can I... can I hug you?"

He wasn't sure if the hug would be more for himself or for her. The last bit of human comfort he'd had was Sawyer gripping onto his hand back in that godforsaken room. Ethan wished he'd hugged her back then, even if it would only hurt him...

He needed it. He needed that comfort. And, he hoped, so did Keiari.

[Keiari Saul]

Keiari could only nod at his question about Teddy visiting her. Her voice still stuck in her throat as she continued to cough to keep the feeling of puking to herself. Breathing hard through her nose to breathe. God how she wished that they had a warm, wet cloth to put over her nose and mouth. That always calmed her down from these type of attacks. No.. like she said before- she just wanted to be home. Wanted to wake up from this nightmare. She couldn't handle it anymore. How long until the next game?! How long until she was chased by that woman again?! Please no...

"God... Keiari, I'm so sorry... Can I.... can I hug you?"

Keiari froze at the question. Did she want to be touched? Did she want a hug? Last time she hugged someone, that woman barged in. But that was because she had hugged Teddy... Wait, was that even the reason? she didn't know, she couldn't jump to conclusions. Still, she knew she had did something- but just what?

Wait... stay on subject, Keiari..

She breathed hard, nodding to him- yes... yes he could hug her. If anything she needed it right now. Needed the comfort. Especially now as her mind raced with what had happened. And slowly she moved towards her friend, one of her best friends and wrapped her arms around him. Starting the hug with how much she needed it. Her head burying itself into his shoulder, holding onto him tightly.

"I-I'm so scared, Ethan... I can't do this... That woman was right, everybody was right about me! I'm pathetic, I'm worthless... I can do anything to save all of you.... I'm.... pathetic..."

She cried into him.

[Ethan Kaul]

Ethan ran a hand through his hair. Teddy had been in her room, and it wasn't to deliver their daily meal or drag her unconscious body around. What had he wanted with her? Keiari was clearly still too paralysed with fear to explain everything, and he didn't want to worsen things, so finding out more would have to wait. 

As soon as she nodded at him, he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close to his chest and closing his eyes. He needed this. They needed this. She was one of his best friends in the world, and if he could just help her feel better, it would help him feel like less of a failure. Her arms wrapped around him, and he breathed deeply, willing himself not to cry, even as he felt her body shaking and her tears soaking into his sweater.

"I-I'm so scared, Ethan... I can't do this... That woman was right, everybody was right about me! I'm pathetic, I'm worthless... I can do anything to save all of you.... I'm.... pathetic..."

"No, no Kei, you're not! You're only human, okay? If someone was chasing me with a taser I'd react the exact same way."

He knew he would. He hadn't even met the woman in person and already he was profoundly affected by her; if Ethan had been the one she had chased he wasn't entirely certain that he'd be mentally capable of comforting anybody the way he was then.

"You're so strong to have gone through that and come out the other side. So so strong."