Survivor
356
posts
476
likes
i love you brooks, forever and always
|
Post by Ethan Kaul on Sept 6, 2020 0:27:38 GMT
“No. If I’m going to die soon, I might as well live a little, for once,” Dorian replied after a short pause. He, too, seemed confident in his answer, and Ethan admired his 'carpe diem' approach to the whole thing. His roommate was right, they didn't know how long they had left to live, and so they needed to 'seize the day' and actually start caring about others. It wasn't going to be easy for them in such a short amount of time... but there wasn't much of a choice.
That much was evident at Dorian's worries about relating their experiences. Even when he'd opened up, he was afraid that it was taking the spotlight away from Ethan, when that wasn't the case at all, not in his eyes anyway. Still, he could understand the concern; neither of them were brilliantly up to speed on social cues, and so it was natural to be concerned.
Which Ethan certainly was, judging by the brief flicker of a look in Dorian's eyes when he mentioned possibly getting his shirt dirty. Even his reassurance that his shirt had been covered in worse didn't really ease that, although it did make him grimace. He was sure that in his experience of those games, he'd had more than a few splatters of blood on his clothing, but he'd managed to clean his white shirt remarkably well. Tears and possibly a bit of snot weren't going to make that much difference anyway.
Besides, their hug had done Ethan a lot of good. He was feeling much better, surprisingly so, considering he'd just lost his best friend. Guess that was the magic of a hug, although a small part of him feared it was apathy setting in after only two close deaths, especially considering his 'afterlife' quip. He didn't want to feel nothing when he thought of the people closest to him dying. No matter how many of them it was, it was better to feel sad about it than not to care at all.
“That’s good… as long as you don’t turn reckless," Dorian responded, breaking Ethan out of his thoughts, "… please do try to stay safe, as much as you are able.”
"Don't worry," he reassured him automatically, "I'm not the reckless type. I'd have to think even that sort of move through."
He chuckled softly, "Besides, I promised... someone that I would. And I'm a man of my word."
He thought it best not to mention Sawyer by name. He didn't need to let on that his feelings for her extended beyond care and were very much planted in romantic territory, and besides, revealing that secret would just remind their kidnapper that he was still a target. That was something he was determined not to do; his plan was to lay low and totally pretend that he hadn't kissed her, nope. Be as inconspicuous as possible, he could certainly do that.
Ethan ran a hand through his hair as Dorian began to speak once more.
“… I understand this is not the best timing. But… well, there’s something I need you to see, because I can’t exactly hide it forever. Before I show it to you, I just want you to understand it doesn’t hurt anymore, for the most part, as long as I don’t use them for too long and don’t apply too much pressure on them.”
That didn't sound good at all. Ethan immediately knew what he was talking about though - the injuries he had sustained from the game. Almost immediately, both concern and a tiny sliver of pride raced though his veins. He couldn't help but feel flattered that Dorian trusted him enough to finally be ready to show him what had happened, but he wasn't sure how he was going to react. Especially since Dorian's words implied that it was going to be something big, something painful... and that multiple limbs had been affected.
"Oh right?" he replied slowly, looking at his roommate's face, "Go ahead..."
Dorian's hands left his pockets, and he held them out in front of him for Ethan to see. Except, they weren't fully his hands, because in place of his fingers was... nothing.
Oh my god.
"Jesus Christ..." Ethan muttered, staring at them, although he could imagine that it seemed a little rude to, "I'm... so sorry Dorian."
His eyes scanned the man's severed hands. The man was true to his words; they had been closed surprisingly well, with no obvious signs of infection, and so they couldn't have hurt too badly considering how long ago he had lost them. Still, he knew that the pain would be the least of his concerns. It was a violation, a loss of something that was so important in life. Something that would be very difficult, and expensive, to regain. Not to mention the mental pain it must be causing him...
"I'm glad they don't hurt..." he was almost lost for words, trying to find something to say that wouldn't be ridiculously offensive or upsetting, "But if you need me to help you with anything, don't be afraid to ask."
He knew Dorian's pride would probably get in the way of that, but it was worth a try anyway.
"She's one sadistic bitch... But I'm just glad you're still alive."
|
|
Survivor
232
posts
249
likes
Not the change of pace I was looking for
|
Post by Dorian F. Blund on Sept 7, 2020 11:55:07 GMT
"Besides, I promised... someone that I would. And I'm a man of my word."Dorian raised a curious eyebrow at that notion; had Ethan also made a deal with someone to stay as safe as they could, just as he had with Katherine? Ethan did not seem interested in naming them yet, and that in itself was also ground for more questions, but he decided not to push him; if he wanted to tell him, he would. He could see a light of understanding in his eyes as Dorian tried to ease their way into a rather disturbing reveal. It must not have escaped him that when he’d told him all about the boiler room game, he had “forgotten” to mention what his prize to pay had been. Of course, he was too astute for that.
When finally, the time came, he reacted about how Dorian had expected; looking at his damaged limbs in a mix of horror and concern, letting out a small statement of surprise and compassion. Dorian chose not to be offended by his prolonged gaze; surely this must have been quite the shock to witness, he knew Evan was dumbfounded too at first. Plus, he was training to be a doctor, surely it couldn’t be so bad to have him look at his wounds. Ethan seemed “satisfied” enough with the state of things, however, which was a genuine relief for the man. As much as it didn’t hurt as much as it used to, and seemed in good state to him, he was no professional, so receiving some confirmation was very appeasing.
"I'm glad they don't hurt… But if you need me to help you with anything, don't be afraid to ask."Dorian offered him a thin smile; Evan had offered the same, and for a time Dorian had had no choice but to rely on him for certain things, such as getting Huxley’s blood out of his clothes. But he’d been too stubborn to ask too much from him, fighting his way through each meager task until he’d found a solution to accomplish it himself. “I appreciate the sentiment… but for most things, I think I can handle myself. I kind of have to, too. I don’t know for how long I’m going to be like this… and I may not always have someone with me to help.” This wasn’t just an issue of obstinacy, but of survival as well. He needed to know he could manage his own way out of any mess.
"She's one sadistic bitch...” Ethan caught his attention again with a very well-informed comment. “But I'm just glad you're still alive."“I’ll be frank; I didn’t think I would be.” Dorian admitted, lowering his hands onto his knees now that the check-up was over. “When I woke up in the boiler room, and saw her there in front of us, I assumed she would cheat the game just to get rid of me. I’m pretty sure she wants me dead, so I didn’t even think my choice would matter. But then… Huxley…” Dorian looked to the side, forlorn. He hadn’t been as close to him as others had been, but the fact that the man had died in his place when he’d been so sure his time had come… it’d only further convinced him that this was all in a way his fault. “I still don’t understand how she operates, why she leaves everything to luck… this past event, she had the maidens choose their grooms, and it seemed most of them matched with a man they had affection for, but… none of the other games make sense. If she wants to prove herself and her skills as a matchmaker, one would think she would pick our partners for us rather than let chance decide, don’t you think?”
After all, that’s what she’d done for him and Annie. She hadn’t rolled a dice or made them compete for each other’s hand; she’d approached his parents with an offer, and they’d found it fortunate. Did she think she’d messed up by matching them that way, and thought it better to keep decisions out of her own control? But then, why orchestrate this whole operation in the first place?
“Then again… so little of all this makes sense. The cameras in the rooms even though she never seems to care what we do outside of the games, her forcing her own son to help her in her twisted games knowing how innocent he is, even whatever her female helper has been up to visiting prisoners…”
It’s saying those words out loud that something clicked in his mind, and his eyes widened in sudden interest. Right… a female helper… the voice this last time had been different… and Katherine had called out her name, sure of herself. It seemed that Mrs Baker had a new trick up her sleeve… and she wasn’t foreign to all people here.
“Tell me… would you happen to know anyone with the name of Kim?” he made eye contact with Ethan once more, his serious face the one he’d use when discussing an important business deal. He hadn’t had the chance to ask Katherine for any clarification with all that had happened after her toast, but if she recognized the voice, then maybe other prisoners knew her as well.
|
|
Survivor
356
posts
476
likes
i love you brooks, forever and always
|
Post by Ethan Kaul on Sept 8, 2020 0:06:18 GMT
Ethan really hadn't expected their kidnapper to go this far, even despite her murderous tendencies, but as he stared down at Dorian's fingerless hands, he could feel terror building up in the pit of his stomach. Obviously he'd seen David blind himself, but the man still had full function of his limbs, and hopefully his other senses had been heightened by the loss of his sight. Now he knew that if she didn't kill them, she was going to mutilate them in such a way that it made every day tasks incredibly difficult... In comparison, his toenail was a walk in the park, and in fact he felt rather lucky that that was all the physical pain he had endured. Of course, it could mean that the worst was to come... but right now, he was solely focused on his roommate, and the horrors he had endured.
“I appreciate the sentiment… but for most things, I think I can handle myself. I kind of have to, too. I don’t know for how long I’m going to be like this… and I may not always have someone with me to help.”
Whether it was out of genuine belief in his ability to continue with his everyday life, or his pride talking, Ethan didn't know, but either way he resolved to keep a closer eye on Dorian, in case he was struggling. There was nothing wrong with admitting to needing help, especially under their circumstances, but of course his roommate was similar to him in many ways, and so he could see why he wouldn't want to ask for assistance.
"Of course," Ethan nodded, "It definitely seems like you've done your best to adjust."
Something which he wasn't quite sure he'd be able to do, although naturally he assumed Dorian had a bit more inner turmoil surrounding the situation than he was willing to let on. Still, he had to give him credit for being able to (presumably) wash, dress, and feed himself on his own. That showed some real strength, and Ethan was undeniably proud, knowing he probably wouldn't be able to display the same fortitude.
“I’ll be frank; I didn’t think I would be. When I woke up in the boiler room, and saw her there in front of us, I assumed she would cheat the game just to get rid of me. I’m pretty sure she wants me dead, so I didn’t even think my choice would matter. But then… Huxley…”
Ethan took a deep breath at the mention of his former roommate. From all the games Dorian had been thrust into, it certainly seemed like their captor was trying to get rid of him, and yet she failed to at every opportunity. Why? Did she just enjoy having him around, to tease him and to torture him? To kill off all his loved ones as some sort of redemption for whatever it was that Dorian had done before? What was the point in putting him in all of these games if she wasn't going to pull the trigger?
Of course, he was glad that the man was alive. He deserved to be one of the people who escaped this place, if they got that far. And yet, Ethan knew that he'd much rather take death over mutilation any day, which only served to show just how strong a person Dorian was, even if he wasn't given much of a choice.
"It's so strange that they got to choose this time," Ethan pondered, "Especially since in the game I was in, it all came down to how many awful dares we did. At least, I assume that was the deciding factor, considering what happened to David..."
It honestly pissed him off. Why were they all allowed to be with the people they loved, or at the very least liked, and yet he couldn't be with Sawyer unless he blinded himself? It wasn't fair; nothing about that whole place was fair, but to tear him apart from the girl he really liked, forcing them to kiss in secret, just to let others choose their partners, seemed especially cruel. The same went for Geoff and Hannah, although it seemed as though the two got on well. Which, Sawyer and David did, but not in a romantic sense. And it was only inevitable that Ethan would be married off too to someone he didn't care about nearly as much as he did Sawyer. The whole situation sucked.
“Then again… so little of all this makes sense. The cameras in the rooms even though she never seems to care what we do outside of the games, her forcing her own son to help her in her twisted games knowing how innocent he is, even whatever her female helper has been up to visiting prisoners…”
"I wish that somehow we could find out that missing puzzle piece that would make the whole thing fit, because right now I'm just not getting it. There's no logic to any of this; none of the matches, none of the room pairings, nothing that's happened. I can't even work out whether the marriages actually matter, or whether they're just a bit of fun to liven up this torture chamber for her. What is she thinking?"
Dorian's eyes suddenly widened, and Ethan looked at him with interest. Clearly, he'd just had a bit of a lightbulb moment, and the doctor was certainly curious to hear what he was thinking.
“Tell me… would you happen to know anyone with the name of Kim?”
The mention of that name sent shivers down his spine. Dorian clearly knew something regarding his enemy's whereabouts, and from the look on his face, Ethan wasn't sure whether it was going to be good or bad news. Still... if it was going to be another death, at least he'd have something to tell Sawyer, even if it was going to break his heart to hurt her once more, especially since he had to let her know about Keiari first.
"I... yes, I do. We've known each other since childhood, we're not the best of friends, but I know a lot of people in here are close to her. Why?"
How was he going to feel if Kim was dead? He'd not really considered it, more focusing on what Sawyer would feel and how much it would hurt her. But would it hurt him too? On the surface, no. She was his sworn enemy after all; they'd hated each other with a fiery passion for so long at that point. And yet, the last time they'd talked, she'd shown some semblance of kindness, tenderness even. And, like the thought he'd dismissed previously, if Sawyer was her friend, could she really be so bad? This time, he was paying more attention to it. Maybe she wasn't the monster he'd built her up to be after all... and maybe it would suck to see her go before they could get over their hatred for each other.
"Have you heard from her?"
|
|
Survivor
232
posts
249
likes
Not the change of pace I was looking for
|
Post by Dorian F. Blund on Sept 8, 2020 22:31:43 GMT
"Of course. It definitely seems like you've done your best to adjust."“One does his best.” He hadn’t missed the look of resolve in Ethan’s eyes; and though whatever he’d just decided clearly had something to do with him, he chose not to question him about it. Ethan wouldn’t do anything to hurt him, anyway.
“The strangest part is that most of the people there were either people with clear feelings for one another, or whom had deep affection for each other, and naturally chose to pair up…. And if she wants to control who gets with who so badly, why would she want to let us pick? The only reason why that I can imagine was so that the brides’ deaths would hurt her grooms even more. Who knows… maybe it’s not a coincidence both couples to have died were those with established relationships.” Maybe it was a way to teach the men to behave and stop flirting without her consent; but they had chosen death alongside their women rather than their punishment. Or maybe, it wasn’t a lesson for them, but… everyone else.
“Don’t try to find love without my approval. I’m the only one who gets to decide who matches with who.”
“Then again, both Katherine and the other two ladies got to end up with the men they’d chosen” and Katherine made her feelings for me pretty clear “so…” Dorian shrugged. He really didn’t know what else to think. “As for the missing puzzle piece… to be frank, I doubt it exists. I really don’t know what secret revelation there could be to make any of this make sense.” His mother-in-law was revengeful AND insane, that seemed to be the end of that.
The moment he mentioned the name of Kim, Ethan’s face changed to one of fear and apprehension, and Dorian immediately knew he’d hit a nerve. "I... yes, I do. We've known each other since childhood, we're not the best of friends, but I know a lot of people in here are close to her. Why?"Dammit.This wasn’t ideal. Why did Ethan have to know every single person Dorian had bad news about, always? He truly wished just once, he could reveal sensitive information to him without breaking the poor man’s heart; even if he claimed they weren’t that close, his expression begged to differ. There was something between these two that made Ethan worry for her, and sadly, it was too late for Dorian to back down.
“… During the last game, there was a new voice giving us our orders, a female one which didn’t match either the woman in the basement and past games, or our host’s. She sounded shaky and afraid, but I didn’t recognize her at all. However, …” He furrowed his eyebrows. Even now, knowing Katherine was alright, the memory of her downing what could have very well been poisoned whiskey was not a pleasant one, and he took a couple seconds to ease the tension of his muscles before continuing on. “When Katherine did her toast to me, right before taking her drink, she turned over towards the cameras, and raised her cup to someone named Kim, saying something about how she didn’t know where she stood with everything but that she hoped she was… happy with her choices? I didn’t have any time to ask her what she meant with everything that went down immediately after, but… my guess was that either it was another minion that had also been visiting prisoners like the other one, or… a prisoner. I suppose then, that it was the latter.”
He didn’t know whether that was the happier or sadder option. On the one hand, the less trustworthy minions Mrs Baker could count on, the easier it would be for them to be overpowered if they could ever fight their way back; unless she was greatly brainwashed, this Kim would be more likely to help the prisoners rather than her jailer, most of all if she still had friends locked up. On the other… if Mrs Baker was starting to use prisoners against one another… that did not sound good at all for anyone’s future. How truly perverted.
|
|
Survivor
356
posts
476
likes
i love you brooks, forever and always
|
Post by Ethan Kaul on Sept 9, 2020 21:14:19 GMT
“The strangest part is that most of the people there were either people with clear feelings for one another, or whom had deep affection for each other, and naturally chose to pair up…. And if she wants to control who gets with who so badly, why would she want to let us pick? The only reason why that I can imagine was so that the brides’ deaths would hurt her grooms even more. Who knows… maybe it’s not a coincidence both couples to have died were those with established relationships.”
Ethan's ears perked up a little bit. It seemed as though pretty much all of the couples in the last game were either established relationships, or just people who their kidnapper knew to be close. That obviously meant she was watching them after all, which sent a little shiver down his spine. Hopefully she had missed everything that had happened between him and Sawyer, otherwise he was in deep shit. She was already matched, after all. As the "side dick", he was certain that he would be swiftly disposed off if the pairing had displeased their kidnapper. He only hoped that the fact that those in the previous game were allowed to pick their matches, coupled with Sawyer and David not even having rings yet as of the last time he'd seen her, meant that maybe there was some hope for him after all.
Not that he wanted to be married to Sawyer just yet! Jesus Christ, that would be moving way too fast. But... he'd still vastly prefer it to seeing her married off to someone else...
“Then again, both Katherine and the other two ladies got to end up with the men they’d chosen, so…”
"That obviously means that she's been watching us more closely than we assumed," Ethan sighed. Which means I'm fucked, "How else would she know about you and Katherine, you know..."
He didn't want to assume too much, but from the way they'd both spoken about each other, it was clear that their connection ran a little deeper than just mere acquaintances, or even friends.
"Plus Keiari and Daniel, and the other couple that died... And she must be watching pretty closely because she knew when Teddy had gone in Keiari's room. But not close enough to notice the blonde girl running around with a lamp, apparently..."
It just didn't make much sense, but he supposed that perhaps she couldn't watch everything at once. After all, even psychopaths needed to sleep, and whoever was monitoring them at night clearly wasn't doing a great job of it. Probably Teddy, unless more people are involved...
The mention of Kim had Ethan more worried than he knew how to comprehend. That was never good; every time Dorian had mentioned another person (other than Katherine, of course), it had always been in the context of them being mutilated or killed. It seemed as though their kidnapper was slowly working her way through every person that would hit a nerve with him, and he was glad that Sawyer had at least seemingly been protected thus far by her engaged status.
“… During the last game, there was a new voice giving us our orders, a female one which didn’t match either the woman in the basement and past games, or our host’s. She sounded shaky and afraid, but I didn’t recognize her at all. However, …”
Ethan's heart dropped right down into his stomach as Dorian continued to speak. Kim wasn't dead... but her fate seemed much, much worse in his eyes. She was a minion, a pawn. And, god, he didn't know what to think about it. Should he be angry? Have an 'I told you she was awful!' moment? Or... feel sorry for her. After all, Kim wouldn't work for their kidnapper voluntarily...
Would she?
He took in a sharp intake of breath before replying, considering his words carefully.
"Right. Yeah. Kim was a prisoner, but I knew she'd gone missing..." he rubbed his head, feeling a headache creeping up on him, "I really don't know how to feel about all of this. We didn't get along at the best of times..."
But surely he couldn't blame her for this... Surely this wasn't her own doing...
"I just... I think I agree with Katherine, you know? Like, if it was a choice, I hope she's happy with it..." he sighed, "But I don't think it was. I think something happened to make her act this way... She can be a bitch sometimes, but she wouldn't just sign up to be a minion."
Ethan ran a hand through his unruly hair, "Honestly man, I feel awful for you having to deliver all of this news to me. Seems like she's plucking off everyone I know one by one, and you're the unlucky messenger who has to let me know..."
He paused for a moment, "Is there anyone or anything else I should know about? Knowing my luck, it'll be someone else I care about."
|
|
Survivor
232
posts
249
likes
Not the change of pace I was looking for
|
Post by Dorian F. Blund on Sept 10, 2020 22:23:43 GMT
"That obviously means that she's been watching us more closely than we assumed. How else would she know about you and Katherine, you know... "Dorian’s eyes widened ever so slightly; he hadn’t meant to imply anything… after all, the Asian girl had seemed to choose Russel by default, clearly not very close to him, if she knew him at all before she’d drank in his name. “Well, Katherine and I, have been, have known together since the beginning, so… she would know. That we care.” Dorian decided to leave the sentence as that, struggling as he was to phrase it correctly without getting uncharacteristically flustered. He hadn’t expected to get called out so openly… was he less subtle than he thought he was?
The topic of Kim saved him, somehow, from further embarrassment, but its price was more of Ethan’s sanity. The man was obviously crestfallen the more Dorian told him. "Right. Yeah. Kim was a prisoner, but I knew she'd gone missing..."“Do you know around when?” The longest she’d been with her captor… the more brainwashed she might become. Who knew if she could still be trusted.
"I really don't know how to feel about all of this. We didn't get along at the best of times..."Dorian cocked his head to the side, curiously. This was getting more and more interesting. “… Would she happen to be the person you’re… trying to stay safe for?” the more he claimed not to be close to her, the more his emotions betrayed him. Did they have some kind of love-hate relationship he had trouble accepting? … Which might be dangerous. The last thing he wanted was for Ethan to get stuck somehow with a girl who might betray him at any moment for the enemy.
"I just... I think I agree with Katherine, you know? Like, if it was a choice, I hope she's happy with it..." Dorian didn’t, frankly. Maybe she was just doing this for survival, but he saw no reason to be happy for her that she’d found a way to protect herself by participating in the torture of other people. Unless she was trying to find a way to stop Mrs Baker from the inside and help everyone else, but… without knowing her, he wasn’t sure how much he could believe something so twisted. It would take a brave mind to try to carry on such a plan, and the frightened young voice he’d heard struggling to speak her lines did not fit that description.
“Do you know any reason she MIGHT have willingly tried to join her? Or anything that could have been used against her to make her do this, other than her own life?” Ethan seemed significantly sure that she wouldn’t willingly agree to be a minion, though, and… well, Dorian wanted to trust his judgement, but he also knew he wouldn’t believe it until he saw her act with his own eyes.
"Honestly man, I feel awful for you having to deliver all of this news to me. Seems like she's plucking off everyone I know one by one, and you're the unlucky messenger who has to let me know..."Dorian smiled sadly. “I appreciate the sentiment, but I’m sure it’s much worse for you… But, I understand your pain, as much as I am able.” He had, after all, also been one constantly targeted by loss and bad news… yet, somehow, he’d almost always witnessed it with his own eyes, rather than heard about it from someone else. He couldn’t decide which was worse.
"Is there anyone or anything else I should know about? Knowing my luck, it'll be someone else I care about."Dorian remained silent, thinking. There was, well… one thing he hadn’t told him about; hadn’t told anyone about, in fact. He knew he should, everyone deserved to have their memories preserved after they past, but… He hated thinking about it. He hated thinking about having to talk about it. He hated the very vision that haunted him, now occupying his mind once again, of a black-haired young woman, unconscious on the bed… and the fact that is so easily overlapped with another, almost identical scenario. Dorian closed his eyes for just a second, before forcing himself to open them again. He could feel himself starting to get sick, and if he’d still had fingers, they might have been shaking. He could actually feel some strange tingling sensation running through the appendages he no longer had.
“… There is one person. My last roommate.” Dorian forced the surplus of saliva that had accumulated in his mouth down his throat; if he didn’t keep himself in check, he might actually need to go to the bathroom before he threw up. “We had a rather… uneventful two weeks together. She was a bit meek, always tired… and one day, she just… didn’t wake up. I tried to talk to her, shake her.” Breathe. “But… nothing. She had no pulse.” He swallowed once again, painfully so. God, he felt so weak. “Her name was Cece; Cece… Pearse, if I’m not mistaken. I think the constant drugging and lack of proper food got the best of her.”He breathed, at last. That was done. Hopefully, Ethan had no more questions. Hopefully, he had nothing to add.
The topic had one good point, at least; suddenly reminded of something, Dorian brought a hand to his chest, patting his vest; everything was still in its place, at least. Carefully, he tried to reach inside to grab onto something… but with his condition, and his now shaking body, it was almost impossible. Huffing, Dorian gave up with a sigh.
“In my vest… there’s a series of items. I have no use for them at the time… In my left pocket, there is a bottle of antiseptic. As a doctor, I’m sure you’ll have better use of it, and… I can’t really handle it myself.” He’d been using it to help clean his contact lenses for a time, but now… at this point, he knew it was almost a lost cause, he simply couldn’t put them on without his fingers. He would just have to accept he wouldn’t be able to see properly for a long time. “In the right one, there is a lighter. I also can’t exactly do much with it. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you not to use them at the same time.”
[Dorian gives away his lighter and bottle of antiseptic to Ethan]
|
|
Survivor
356
posts
476
likes
i love you brooks, forever and always
|
Post by Ethan Kaul on Sept 11, 2020 21:40:30 GMT
“Well, Katherine and I, have been, have known together since the beginning, so… she would know. That we care.”
Care. Riiiiight. The slightly flustered sentence structure was hinting to Ethan that Dorian's feelings for Katherine's went perhaps a little beyond simple care, and no doubt hers did too. He'd been in his fair share of romantic relationships, he could read the signs, and he had no doubt that he'd react in a similar way if anyone were to ask about Sawyer. Luckily for him, he hadn't really talked about his feelings for her to anyone, although he assumed that she'd confided in one of her friends by that point. He just hoped nobody would ask him... he was learning to be more open with his emotions, but, god, the thought of admitting his crush to anyone but her made him incredibly nervous.
"Uh huh," he replied simply, concealing his smirk remarkably well. Dorian probably wouldn't appreciate any teasing, but he wasn't exactly making it easy for Ethan not to. Luckily, or perhaps not so luckily, the conversation shifted towards Kim and the fact that she had seemingly defected.
“Do you know around when?”
He had to rack his brain for that answer, "Sawyer told me that it was... I think around two rooms ago. She talked to her friend Jess through the wall; apparently Kim had been with her for the first day, but had seemingly disappeared overnight. Guess we know where she got to now, huh?"
Ethan let out a soft sigh. God, Sawyer was going to be so upset, if she even found out about what Kim had done (or been forced to do...). This was not the good news he desperately hoped to give her. Couldn't they just have one victory, at least?
“… Would she happen to be the person you’re… trying to stay safe for?”
"Kim?!" Ethan spluttered incredulously. Dorian thought he would keep any promises for Kim?! "Fuck no. Maybe I was sugarcoating our relationship a bit, but we despise each other."
Maybe despised, but that wouldn't help his cause. He had to be harsh, to make sure that Dorian understood that there was absolutely nothing going on there, and that Ethan was a hundred and ten percent trustworthy.
"No, it was... someone else." And there was the blushing again. Ugh, when did this whole teenager-esque crush thing stop? "I wouldn't trust Kim with a pile of horse shit, let alone my life, especially not now."
Move on move on move on.
“Do you know any reason she MIGHT have willingly tried to join her? Or anything that could have been used against her to make her do this, other than her own life?”
"I don't know," he sighed, "Maybe... maybe the bitch threatened some of her friends. I know she's very close to Sawyer and Jess, and Geoff actually. She may be an awful person to me... but she wouldn't let her friends get hurt."
He had to give that to her, she was loyal. He only hoped that he was right, that she wasn't totally rotten to the core. Dorian's description of how nervous she had sounded gave credit to that idea, at least.
At Dorian's insistence that it was worse for Ethan than it could be for him, he simply shrugged. He wasn't so sure of that; it must seriously suck to have to deliver all that news and then deal with the emotional reaction it provoked. Not to mention the fact that he'd actually witnessed these tragedies. At least Ethan had been spared that for the time being.
His question, however, seemed to provoke a strange reaction in the man. There was a long silence, and Ethan looked over at him once more, feeling the nerves creep back into his body. Was there another death? ...Was it Sawyer?
“… There is one person. My last roommate.”
Crap. Well, at least it wasn't her at least, but he still wasn't filled with much confidence. Who had he been roomed with? Freya, perhaps, or Hannah? Evan? David? Was that why Sawyer hadn't been married yet?
“We had a rather… uneventful two weeks together. She was a bit meek, always tired… and one day, she just… didn’t wake up. I tried to talk to her, shake her. But… nothing. She had no pulse. Her name was Cece; Cece… Pearse, if I’m not mistaken. I think the constant drugging and lack of proper food got the best of her.”
"CeCe..." Ethan dragged the word out, feeling his bones grow heavy. Another person he knew. Even though their relationship had ended on pretty awful terms... the woman still didn't deserve to die.
"You're not going to fucking believe this, but she's actually my kind-of ex," he replied, a humourless laugh upon his lips, "That bitch really is targeting everyone I know, isn't she?"
He had nothing else to say. Clearly, Dorian was affected by the death, and he had no desire to press for further details. CeCe meant nothing to him anymore, just a relic of his past, as harsh as it sounded. He was just glad that she had been given a merciful death, rather than dying in one of the games, at the very least.
His head snapped towards Dorian as the man began to pat himself down, making sure that he still had everything in his pockets.
“In my vest… there’s a series of items. I have no use for them at the time… In my left pocket, there is a bottle of antiseptic. As a doctor, I’m sure you’ll have better use of it, and… I can’t really handle it myself. In the right one, there is a lighter. I also can’t exactly do much with it. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you not to use them at the same time.”
"Course not," Ethan replied appreciatively. Both items would probably be useful in some way, and it was better that he had it and was able to actually use them, although he felt a little bad about taking them from his roommate, even at his insistence, "Thanks. Hopefully they'll come in handy."
He could disinfect his toe, at the very least, although if he was going to get an infection from that wound he'd probably have already gotten it. Still, it was good to have for the next time he inevitably came face to face with their captor.
Ethan reached into his pockets to pull out the items, feeling a little weird at the slight intimacy of the act, but he shook it off. That was, until a piece of paper fluttered out of his pocket...
"What's this?" his brow furrowed. Had Dorian found another list? "Is it yours, or did you find it in here?"
[Ethan takes the antiseptic and lighter from Dorian]
|
|
Survivor
232
posts
249
likes
Not the change of pace I was looking for
|
Post by Dorian F. Blund on Sept 11, 2020 23:20:45 GMT
"Uh huh," that simple sound, not even a word, and the knowing smirk that accompanied it, were enough for Dorian to feel warmth spread through his cheeks, coloring them a pale shade of pink. He knew perfectly well what Ethan was trying to imply, but damn if he wasn’t going to pretend he didn’t.
Trying to keep his emotions under control, he focused his entire attention on Kim’s possible betrayal, a welcome distraction despite how somber the subject was. She had been gone a month, then. It could have been worse, but it was still a lot of time to be stuck in his mother-in-law’s crutches. He had to rack his brain for a bit to remember who Sawyer was; if he wasn’t wrong, she was the young lady who’d been the target of three possible male matches, with terrible results. But he was interested to hear more about this Jessica and Geoff; he was learning about so many people he didn’t know, lately. It was strange to find out that after so long in these rooms there were so many people he knew nothing about, affecting the outcome of games and events that could have consequences for him and his loved ones. He’d been in this place so long, he thought he ought to have a good idea of everything going on at all times by now, but it was obvious he didn’t. And he didn’t like it.
Also surprising was Ethan’s outburst; he’d detected a certain hidden affection for the girl in Ethan’s voice, and he’d expected him to deny it, but… not quite this vehemently. "Fuck no. Maybe I was sugarcoating our relationship a bit, but we despise each other."“Ah.”"No, it was... someone else. I wouldn't trust Kim with a pile of horse shit, let alone my life, especially not now."“AH.” Okay, so definitely not her. His bad.
But Ethan HAD said there was someone else, for sure, and that blush didn’t lie; he knew he must have looked the same a few minutes only ago, when Ethan was teasing him about Katherine. “Uh huh.” He said in retaliation. The parallel between their two situations did not escape him, and he knew it wouldn’t escape Ethan either.
In his mind, he couldn’t help but wonder who that person was, deciding to put this on simple curiosity. He hadn’t specified any gender, which made things harder. It could be Freya, thought they hadn’t talked about her in a while; it certainly wasn’t Kim. He seemed to know Geoff and Jess well enough, unless he only knew about them. Then there was Sawyer… the person whose name he kept dropping into conversation, whose hand he had to fight for, and whom he clearly knew well. Uh.“So, this ‘person’ and you… you seem close.” He pointed out, as neutrally as possible. For whatever reason, Ethan was keeping their name a secret, there must have been a reason…?
At least, Ethan seemed adamant that Kim wouldn’t hurt her friends and wouldn’t defect willingly despite his differences with her, but… that remained to be seen.
As he started retelling the loss of his last roommate, Dorian saw Ethan’s fall once more through his own nauseous panic, filling him with dread. No, it couldn’t be… “Cece…”It was. Ethan immediately confirmed his suspicions, and he was right, Dorian couldn’t believe it. This absolute lack of luck… must have been something else they had in common, because he, too, had felt, and still did, continuously targeted. “I’m so sorry… I hope it can soothe your heart a little to know she died in her sleep, with little to no pain.”
Ethan didn’t seem entirely comfortable approaching him like he was, which was amusing, considering they had just hugged only moments ago. Then again, Dorian valued his personal space heavily, and he could easily see how having to reach directly into his clothes was… questionable. He ignored it though, letting him do as he pleased… that is, until a favored piece of paper fluttered out of his pocket and onto the bed.
“!” Dorian reacted promptly, trying to catch it in the air, but ended up only slapping it further out of his reach, still not always used to the way he now needed to grab onto things. His pulse calmed down as he saw it land; it was fine, it wasn’t broken or torn, it was intact and close, he simply needed to tuck it safely back inside of his vest. That is, until the doctor spoke once more, and forced him out of his momentary trance.
“… No. And yes.” It wasn’t his, but he felt like it should be. It didn’t feel right, leaving this in the hands of anyone else. “… I took it from Cece, when she… well…”It was weird, admitting he’d looted a corpse’s cold body for items; it wasn’t what he had meant to do at all, the paper had simply fallen out of her pocket as he shook her, and with that the lighter, but… the impression would still be bad, even more for someone who was familiar with the deceased. Dorian looked back up at Ethan. It was a stretch, but… Ethan knew Cece, then… maybe he could know more about this as well. And he desperately needed answers.
“It’s a picture of my wife. My late wife.” He explained. In its fall, it had almost revealed itself, and Dorian softly pushed the borders aside to open it so that Ethan could gaze upon her. He felt a wave of jealousy as he did, but he told himself it was a necessary evil. “Her name was Marianne Baker, she died a couple years ago. I have no idea why Cece had a picture of her, I’d never met or heard of her before now. You wouldn’t… happen to know if they knew each other, would you? After all… you dated her. Kind of.”
He took a deep breath. He didn’t feel comfortable talking about it, but… he knew he needed to be honest.
“Then again… I suppose she might have… found it around here somewhere. It wouldn’t surprise me if there were other items that belonged to Annie around here. I just wish I could know… if someone else here was a friend of my wife. Someone she cared about, and I didn’t even know.”
|
|
Survivor
356
posts
476
likes
i love you brooks, forever and always
|
Post by Ethan Kaul on Sept 12, 2020 17:03:26 GMT
At Ethan's disbelieving noise, Dorian's cheeks slowly turned a shade of pink, further proving his point. So there were some feelings there... interesting. Very interesting. Well, at least they were able to get married to each other, which no doubt meant that they were going to be spending more time together. Lucky bastard.
However, his roommate had definitely caught Ethan's reaction to the mention of Sawyer, leaving him with a bright red face. Maybe he should have just gone along with Dorian's interpretation of his relationship with Kim, but then again, word travelled surprisingly fast in that hellhole. He didn't want the girl he actually liked to think that he had some infatuation with her best friend, especially when he most certainly didn't. He wasn't even sure if they were acquaintances, let alone friends or more, especially after everything he had just learned.
“So, this ‘person’ and you… you seem close.”
Dammit. He'd hoped to get away with his reaction by changing the subject, but apparently Dorian was too curious for his own good. Ethan supposed it was partly out of not wanting to be alone in having feelings for someone he'd only gotten to know properly since being kidnapped, or maybe he just wanted to make him squirm like the doctor had done to him. Either way... he wasn't very appreciative of it all.
"Yeah, I'd say so," he replied, trying to seem nonchalant even despite the heat in his cheeks. He wasn't going to be so open as to discuss his crush (or more than a crush, judging by how they'd spent their last week together) with a man who, in all honesty, probably didn't even care. There were more pressing things to think about than who had feelings for who, even if his feelings for Sawyer were life threatening. Besides, speaking about them would probably give their captor more ammo, which was the last thing Ethan wanted. He needed to lie low and let the storm pass, and, hopefully, work out a way to get out of there alive. Breaking up a marriage, no matter how fake, could wait, and so could discussing it.
Even when he tried to avoid it, however, his romantic life of course was still coming up in conversation, through no fault of Dorian's. How was he to know about Ethan's failed relationship with CeCe, especially when it was hardly a relationship to begin with? Even so, even despite what she had put him through, he still felt a little pang of sadness in his heart at her loss. Another innocent life taken too soon...
“I’m so sorry… I hope it can soothe your heart a little to know she died in her sleep, with little to no pain.”
"It does," he reassured him, "I'm glad it wasn't a brutal end, even if it's a little upsetting to hear."
That was good, at least. Knowing that she hadn't been in too much pain at the end of her life helped with the hurt even just a little, much like it had with Keiari. At least neither of them were stabbed or mutilated. At least they were free.
Dorian's reaction to the paper falling from his pocket was... strange, to say the least. Clearly, he'd forgotten he couldn't grasp it with no fingers, and so batted it further out of his reach, and straight into Ethan's lap. Before he could open it up, Dorian was already smoothing it open, allowing him to see the photograph. It was a pretty young woman sat in a park, smiling at the camera, looking blissfully happy. He didn't recognise her, but at the sound of Dorian's voice, he looked up at his roommate once more.
“It’s a picture of my wife. My late wife.”
Oh. Well, shit. That whole desperate grabbing thing made sense now, and Ethan immediately held it out towards him, before realising that the man couldn't really get a grip on it.
"Oh."
“Her name was Marianne Baker, she died a couple years ago. I have no idea why Cece had a picture of her, I’d never met or heard of her before now. You wouldn’t… happen to know if they knew each other, would you? After all… you dated her. Kind of.”
Ethan felt his stomach sink. God, he wished he had good news, but no such luck. CeCe had never mentioned anyone named Marianne in their few brief dates, nor did he remember her from their days in high school.
"I wish I could say I know of her..." he began, "But... no. My relationship with CeCe was... complicated, so I didn't get to meet her friends or anything, and as far as I can recall she didn't attend our high school. Maybe they met through her work? She was a mobile nurse. Still, that doesn't explain why she'd have a picture of her..."
It must be something she'd found, much like Daniel had found that baby name list. But why would a picture of Dorian's late wife be floating around the place they were kidnapped?
Unless...
Mar. That was the name that Geoff had found on that teddy bear. Mar. Marianne...
“Then again… I suppose she might have… found it around here somewhere. It wouldn’t surprise me if there were other items that belonged to Annie around here. I just wish I could know… if someone else here was a friend of my wife. Someone she cared about, and I didn’t even know.”
"Why... why would a picture of your wife be here?" Ethan swallowed the bile that had begun to rise in his throat as the reality of who Dorian could have been married to hit him, and what that meant for everything he had discovered, "Dorian... was your wife pregnant?"
|
|
Survivor
232
posts
249
likes
Not the change of pace I was looking for
|
Post by Dorian F. Blund on Sept 12, 2020 18:42:35 GMT
Despite his noncommittal answer, his question had clearly struck a nerve with him, judging by his reddening cheeks. It felt good to know Dorian wasn’t the only one struggling with his feelings, and he silenced his chuckle so not to make Ethan even more embarrassed. If he didn’t want to talk about that person, then Dorian wouldn’t force it out of him.
Satisfied to hear his almost-ex had a peaceful death, Ethan now seemed much more interested in the picture; his curious expression changed to one of shock when he heard of the girl’s identity, and he promptly forwarded him the paper, thank God. Carefully, Dorian clasped both of his hands on the paper and awkwardly brought it towards his own lap; he would have to fold it and tuck it safely later, but… for now, maybe it wouldn’t hurt to gaze upon it for just a moment longer. Much to his dismay, the boy didn’t seem to have any further answers for him, all he could give him that could have value being Cece’s job. Even then, that didn’t really tell him anything; how was he to know if Mrs Baker or her children had ever used her services? Even then, why would their employee keep this picture on her person all this time? Plus, most people had lost everything they owned after their first night here. No, it seemed that there were no clue hinting at the two women being close… and so, he was back to square one.
From Ethan’s expression, he could tell the man had gone through the same thought-process… and arrived at similar conclusions. Now, his face was one of horror and realization, and Dorian could easily figure out why, analyzing his own words. Ethan Kaul was no idiot. He couldn’t expect him not to put two and two together. "Why... why would a picture of your wife be here?" He finally asked, and if he hadn’t looked about to throw up before, he certainly did now.
Dorian took a deep breath. There was no use denying anything now. All it would accomplish was waste all of the trust the two men had built throughout their time together, and he knew he couldn’t afford to lose that. “… She was Teddy’s younger sister.” He finally said, bringing up first the one minion Ethan knew by name. “… and the match-maker’s daughter.”
He raised his gaze towards Ethan, keeping unbroken eye contact with him.
“Ethan, I know it may be hard to believe, but I had nothing to do with her organizing any of this. I had no contact with her or her son ever since Marianne died. I was just as unaware as anyone else when we woke up in the basement, and only discovered her identity when she spoke to me in the freezer.”
At that moment, Dorian thought all he had to worry about, would be Ethan not believing him and seeing him as a threat. He was in no way prepared for what he was about to unpack on him. "Dorian... was your wife pregnant?"The man’s eyes widened in pure shock, staring at him blankly as if he would discover he’d misheard his question entirely at any moment. Yet, there it remained, and a dozen questions waltzed through Dorian’s mind: why was he asking him that? HOW did he know that? That wasn’t a question one just asked the moment they were told their friend was a widower. He must know something. But, how?
“… She was, for a time.” He finally answered, his voice now nothing but a pained whisper. “… she wasn’t when she died.”
Dorian swallowed heavily. He didn’t like this conversation. He didn’t like any of this. Maybe he should have taken the bait and kept the topic on Katherine and Ethan’s mystery person. But here they were now, and it was important. He needed to know.
“Ethan, WHY are you asking me this…?”
|
|
Survivor
356
posts
476
likes
i love you brooks, forever and always
|
Post by Ethan Kaul on Sept 13, 2020 0:12:22 GMT
Dorian's decision to change the subject away from his feelings had Ethan breathing a sigh of relief. Of course he didn't want to keep Sawyer a secret, of course when they made it out - if they made it out - he was going to shout from the rooftops that he was falling for her, but with the two of them being trapped and Sawyer being 'engaged', it was just far too risky. For the both of them really, he was sure that if their kidnapper knew about her supposed infidelity that the consequences would not be pretty, but even more so for him. After all, he was the 'other man', the 'bit on the side'. David beat him fair and square in her eyes, Ethan shouldn't even be factoring into the equation. He just had to keep his feelings quiet for now, and play everything else by ear.
Unfortunately, the subject change was not to the most pleasant one, and the doctor felt incredibly guilty that he couldn't give his roommate a better answer. He'd known CeCe for so long, since high school, and yet he barely knew her. More to the point, their 'relationship' had been a brief one with an unpleasant end, so even if she was involved in some way with a Marianne Baker, he wouldn't know about it anyway.
As he awaited Dorian's answer, his heart began to sink, as though he already knew what he was going to say. Dorian was matched by their kidnapper, but it seemed that their connection had been a bit more... filial than he had let on.
“… She was Teddy’s younger sister.… and the match-maker’s daughter.”
"Shit," Ethan muttered. There it was, the missing puzzle piece, the words he'd been dreading to hear. The reason why their kidnapper hated Dorian so much, and had thus thrown him in all of those games.
First Kim and now Dorian. Was there anybody he could fully trust anymore?
Dorian's grey-blue eyes bored into his, as though he was desperate to convince Ethan of his virtue, of his innocence.
“Ethan, I know it may be hard to believe, but I had nothing to do with her organizing any of this. I had no contact with her or her son ever since Marianne died. I was just as unaware as anyone else when we woke up in the basement, and only discovered her identity when she spoke to me in the freezer.”
"Right..."
He didn't know what to believe. The story wasn't far fetched, and yet he could feel the sting of betrayal worm its way into his brain. Dorian had told him the truth, but not the full truth, and now that it had been revealed, he had no idea what to make of it all. Could he even trust him anymore? At least he hadn't mentioned his affection for Sawyer by name, although the man was probably smart enough to draw his own conclusions. Had he said too much? Had he put them at risk?
"I just... you see why this is hard for me, don't you? I want to believe you, but..." But you were sleeping with the enemy, or rather, the daughter of the enemy. He looked down, his eyes immediately catching sight of Dorian's hands. Their kidnapper wouldn't do that to one of her henchmen... would she? Ethan stared at the fingerless stumps for what seemed like an eternity, before his eyes once again met his roommate's.
"Okay. I guess I'm like... 99% there. But don't make me regret trusting you."
It wasn't an entirely empty threat, and he hoped it was enough to persuade Dorian not to dupe him. After all, Dorian had a few inches and a hell of a lot of muscle on Ethan, especially after his poor eating habits the past few weeks... There really wasn't anything physical he could do to him, anyway, if he did choose to break that trust. Instead, he could only hope that he wasn't being foolish after all.
The pregnancy question clearly came as quite a shock to Dorian, and Ethan continued to hold his gaze, not quite sure what sort of an answer he was going to get.
“… She was, for a time… she wasn’t when she died.”
Oh. Suddenly this new information wasn't going to go down quite as well as he'd hoped.
“Ethan, WHY are you asking me this…?”
Ethan swallowed, taking a deep breath to somehow ease his nerves even a little.
"A while ago... I was roomed with Daniel, and we found a... a list. Of names. We kinda assumed they were baby names, and then Geoff told me about finding these pictures of a blonde woman so we just kinda assumed they were hers..."
Instead they were Marianne's. And Dorian's. Their child, or what should have been their child, anyway.
"I wish I'd kept the list... I'm sorry..."
|
|
Survivor
232
posts
249
likes
Not the change of pace I was looking for
|
Post by Dorian F. Blund on Sept 13, 2020 12:01:23 GMT
The moment the words he could never take back left his lips, he saw an unmistakable feeling of betrayal reach Ethan’s scowl; one that even his most genuine attempts to convince him of his virtue couldn’t get rid of. And could he really blame him? As much as it hurt to have a man he respected doubt him, one he’d held in his arms only moments ago, he knew that if he were in his place, he would be even more suspicious and distant. The fact he wasn’t moving away and still considering what to think of him at all was already a great honor.
"I just... you see why this is hard for me, don't you? I want to believe you, but..."“I know.” He shook his head. Of course he understood, but… “Just… consider that if I were involved… I wouldn’t have let her kill Kamala, or Cassim. I wouldn’t have brought Katherine and miss Hannah here.” And so many more, but these were the most telling ones. Never would he have put them in such danger willingly.
And, well… there was himself. Dorian wasn’t insane; he didn’t have a death wish. One might think he’d survived a suspicious amount of games considering how many he’d been thrown in; but his body didn’t come out unharmed, unlike Geoff, the very first suspect. He’d been scarred like not many others had been, mentally and physically. Ethan seemed to be thinking the same, judging by the way he was staring at his hands, and Dorian forced himself not to move them out of sight; people looking so intensely made him feel more self-conscious than he’d like to admit. At worst, one could think he’d participated in the planning either without realizing how bad it would truly be, or not knowing he would be forced to take part in it with some of his loved ones, but he hoped no one thought him that stupid. … Or, perhaps, one could think he’d been willing to join in, in hope of finding himself a new wife with the help of his old mother-in-law… but who would be desperate enough for that?
The man’s green eyes left his maimed appendages at last to bore into his, and Dorian straightened his shoulders, awaiting his verdict. "Okay. I guess I'm like... 99% there. But don't make me regret trusting you."“Of course.” His response came quickly, certain. He would never willingly do anything to hurt the other man… he just hoped Mrs Baker wouldn’t make a liar out of him.
He was holding his breath in anticipation as Ethan braced himself to answer his question, and it took all of his willpower not to urge the information out of him; after this whole conversation, Dorian was in no position to get pushy. When finally, he spoke, Dorian was hanging on his every word. The explanation was in no way what he had expected; perhaps some medical document, even something clearly written by Marianne talking about it, yet… all he had to offer were names. A list of names, baby names; names, if the list was hers, that she’d wanted to call their child.
For a second, Dorian had hope, but Ethan crushed them as soon as he revealed he didn’t have it; either he hadn’t considered it worth keeping, not realizing how important it might be for someone else, or Daniel had. Which meant Dorian might have been in the same room as that list twice… with no idea he could have had his hands on it, if only to check if the handwriting was hers. And now, Daniel was dead, meaning either the list was in his mother-in-law’s grasp… or she’d gotten rid of it.
The thought filled Dorian with rage; yet, as mad as he wanted to be, the only sound that managed to come out when at last he opened his mouth was a heartbroken “Ah.” So there it went. Like everything Dorian held dear, within his reach when he didn’t care, and gone the moment he realized how much it mattered to him.
His lips parted a second time, feeling like he needed to add something; for which reason, whether to keep face or try to keep his emotions under control, he didn’t know.
“… She was very excited about the baby.” Was all he could think to say. And she’d truly been. Those had been the best weeks of their relationships, when she’d started to actually open up to him, smile at him, even given him a nickname, which he’d reciprocated. Then the bad news came, and she’d been broken beyond belief.
Dorian hadn’t. He wasn’t allowed to, but even then, he’d convinced himself it would be fine. She was young. They had time. They could try again. A lot of women went through this before they could give birth.
He wished he’d noticed how truly crushed she was, and had told her just this. Then, maybe she wouldn’t have been so distraught. Maybe she wouldn’t have taken those pills.
Maybe.
“… Do you remember what the names were?”
|
|
Survivor
356
posts
476
likes
i love you brooks, forever and always
|
Post by Ethan Kaul on Sept 13, 2020 15:36:06 GMT
“I know. Just… consider that if I were involved… I wouldn’t have let her kill Kamala, or Cassim. I wouldn’t have brought Katherine and miss Hannah here.”
No. No, of course he wouldn't. Dorian was a good guy, he wouldn't let the people he loved get hurt, let alone killed... And yet, Ethan was still struggling with believing him. Not wholly, but there was still a small part of him that couldn't completely trust the man. After all, he hadn't been entirely honest with him about his relation to their kidnapper from the start...
Still, Dorian's words plus the obvious physical mutilation of his hands came together to at the very least convince him most of the way. Normally that wouldn't be good enough, but in a place like that, there was never going to be anybody he trusted 100%. Not even the people he'd known before, or the people he cared about.
"Good," he nodded at his roommate's quick response. He could tell that the man meant it, but obviously there was no guarantee, considering what Sawyer had been forced to do in their game. Ethan just hoped Dorian's betrayal, if it happened, wouldn't come of his own accord.
He could sense the heartbreak in his eyes at the disappointing new that he didn't have the list. God, he wished he had; now it was somewhere unknown, kept on Daniel's corpse. If only he'd had the foresight to take it from the man... Still, while he knew it was important, he hadn't known that it would be important to Dorian, and the foolishness of his actions filled him with regret.
"I'm sorry. I really wish I could say something different, but I thought it would be safe with him."
He really had. Plus, Daniel had been the one to find the list in the first place, and it had seemed rude to insist upon having it for himself. Ethan could only wonder whether Daniel had told others about the contents of the list, or passed it on to someone else. God, he hoped he had.
“… She was very excited about the baby.”
"I'm sure," Ethan replied kindly, letting the man speak. He'd endured enough, first the loss of his child, then the loss of his wife. And then, everything he'd been through since being kidnapped. If anyone deserved a break, it was him.
Had Dorian been excited? He hadn't mentioned his own feelings on the matter, and for all the impulse he'd felt towards making the man his father figure, Ethan couldn't see him being a dad to an actual child. Still, he presumed that it was a wanted baby, simply by the sadness in his eyes. God, he felt awful for him. He couldn't even imagine the pain he must be feeling at having to relive everything that had happened.
“… Do you remember what the names were?”
In his talk with Geoff, he could only remember the most important names, the names with the hearts. Since then, he'd had a day to think, and he'd managed to dredge up a few more names from his memory. Not all of them... but he hoped it was enough.
"I remember some. For boys, there was Liam, Oliver, and Samuel that she really liked. Liam had two hearts by it, Samuel had one. There were two others, but one was crossed out and one had question marks, I think it began with an M? There was a girl's name that was crossed off and I can't remember, but Lailani had two hearts by it and Layla had one. I think Olivia was a name too? And then there was Amelia and some variant on it. I'm sorry I can't remember it fully," he rambled on, trying as hard as he could to pull the names from his hazy memories, "The whole piece of paper was doodled on. She really did seem excited..."
He swallowed dryly, letting out a soft sigh, "I'm sorry. Geoff also found a teddy bear in his room that belonged to a 'Mar', I assume that was also your wife's..."
|
|
Survivor
232
posts
249
likes
Not the change of pace I was looking for
|
Post by Dorian F. Blund on Sept 13, 2020 19:22:41 GMT
Ethan didn’t seem immediately convinced by his claims of innocence, but he at least was taking them into account. Dorian knew that he hadn’t regained all of his trust, and considering their whole conversation so far… it hurt, but he would have to deal with it.
He had plenty more to hurt over, however. He nodded vaguely to acknowledge Ethan’s apology; he couldn’t exactly blame him for not keeping a random piece of paper without knowing it would be so important to someone he, back then, didn’t even like that much. It was no use obsessing over it.
As Ethan made memory, Dorian waited, thinking back to those few blissful weeks. Even when she’d started opening up to him, she’d never been too direct, always guarded with her feelings. Dorian realized now she’d probably been conditioned from a very early age not to share her deepest emotions and wants with others, least of all the husband she was supposed to “take care of”, not unlike what Dorian had been told since he was a kid. Yet another thing they had in common, and which he’d realized much too late.
Finally, the list came, or at least parts of it. Dorian listened in intently; he’d never given it much thought what he would want to name his kids, always imagining that was something he’d figure out when the time came, though his parents, once again, had a lot of “inspiration” to share with him. Annie, however, had clearly thought about it in great depth, considering all the names that were now delivered, and the fact that some were still missing. Just like he’d done with all the names of the prisoners and the deceased, Dorian repeated each one in his mind as to not forget them.
Some of them were clearly more significant than others: Liam, Samuel, Lailani, Layla. Lots of Ls, she clearly had a type, and he couldn’t help but give a wavering smile at the thought. Annie wanted a daughter. She’d never said so in such certain terms, but he’d figured it out himself, from the way her face lit up whenever the prospect was brought up. A little girl. Lailani.
“… They’re lovely names.” He whispered, his voice shaking with emotion. It’d been years. Two years. Why couldn’t he be over it already?
Because you were never allowed to mourn.
"I'm sorry. Geoff also found a teddy bear in his room that belonged to a 'Mar', I assume that was also your wife's..."“Probably. She loved those.” He chuckled, his tone not quite settled yet. “She hated that name, though. Mar… Maria, Marianne. Only her mother called her thus way.” It was one of the few things she’d ever been firm and honest with him about early on. To never call her that.
His eyes darted downward again, to the picture in his lap. She looked so young back then. So full of life, and hope. She would have been a good mother.
Gently, as if he was holding a precious material, he folded the picture in his hand, and slowly slipped it into his vest’s pocket, careful not to damage it. Then, bringing his right wrist to his eyes, he wiped and felt his sleeve growing wet: tears, just as he’d feared. They hadn’t started running down his cheeks quite yet.
“… I need to take a shower.” He announced, knowing Ethan could sense the weakness in his words. “… If you’ll excuse me.”
Thus said, he got up from the bed, and turned towards the bathroom. Maybe some cold water would do him good anyway… at least, the water from the shower would hide the water coming from his eyes.
|
|
Survivor
356
posts
476
likes
i love you brooks, forever and always
|
Post by Ethan Kaul on Sept 13, 2020 21:54:44 GMT
Although a little part of Ethan wanted to distrust Dorian, he just couldn't find it in himself to. The look on the man's face as he recounted what he had discovered practically screamed innocence. Besides, the two of them understood each other so well, being such similar personalities, and in truth he would have kept that sort of thing from people he didn't fully trust too, for fear of how they might see him. It was really almost the same thing as Geoff being the 'shooter' in the first known game; the two of them were innocent (until it was proven otherwise), but that didn't mean others were going to view them in a positive light. Ethan wasn't normally so easily swayed, but he was convinced that his roommate wasn't a bad guy, more a decent guy that had been caught up in something bad. And, for what it was worth, even though they had been thrust together by Marianne's mother, Dorian genuinely seemed to care for his wife. The monster had not tainted his memories of Marianne, nor had she tainted the woman herself, judging by how reverently her widow spoke of her.
In addition, the fact that his roommate had even told him of his wife's parentage, knowing how he may react to the news, proved that he trusted him, and that made Ethan's chest swell with a mixture of pride and sadness. Pride that he had won him over, sadness that he hadn't immediately trusted his words, knowing what he had been through. Of course Dorian wasn't going to hurt anybody on purpose. He just didn't have it in him.
Ethan watched his roommate's face carefully as he reeled off the list of names. The man was clearly in a state of shock, and there was a deep tinge of sadness in his eyes as he reached the girl names. Had their baby been a girl? Or had it been too early to tell? Had they felt their child kick, seen her moving around? Been through all of those milestones just to have to say goodbye before they could say hello? He couldn't imagine the pain of losing a child, and how it must hurt even years later. And then to lose his wife as well...
“… They’re lovely names.”
Dorian's voice wavered, on the edge of tears, and Ethan felt the urge to reach out and touch him, find some way to comfort him beyond words. He wasn't very good at that, he never had been, not beyond formality and what he'd made himself learn in order to be better at his job. But this... this was more personal than a doctor talking to his patient. This was Ethan talking to his friend. He cursed his upbringing, his need to build up walls and fight of all emotion. None of that was going to help him now, and he felt at a loss for any words that could help.
"She had good taste," he agreed, "I'm sure she would have been a wonderful mother, and you a wonderful father."
A sorry was on the tip of his tongue, but he bit it away. He'd said the word so many times that he was sure Dorian was sick of hearing it.
“Probably. She loved those. She hated that name, though. Mar… Maria, Marianne. Only her mother called her thus way.”
Ethan just nodded, watching as Dorian looked down at the photo, at the memory of his wife as she was, before putting it away. This, he was sure, was more than most people had seen of the man, and even though he was almost glad that Dorian trusted him so much... he wished that none of this had happened to him. That his wife was still alive, that they had their baby and were living happily ever after, far away from this hellhole. But life wasn't kind, not even to the best of people, Ethan knew that all too well, and death was even crueller, taking and taking without a second thought and leaving the people they loved behind to mourn. CeCe, Keiari, Daniel, Mathias and his lover, Huxley, Della, Cassim, Lydia... and Marianne.
“… I need to take a shower.… If you’ll excuse me,” Dorian stood up, turning away from him so he couldn't see the tears in his eyes. But Ethan knew they were there, and he stood up too, moving slowly over to the man.
"Dorian..." he hesitated for a moment, wondering if it was the best thing to do, before flinging his arms around the man and holding him tight, just for a few moments, trying to ease his pain like Dorian had eased his. It was the least he could do.
When he pulled away, he looked down at the floor, embarrassed at his spontaneity, but not regretful of his actions.
"Bathroom's all yours. I'll be in here if you need me."
With that, he made his way to the bed and climbed under the covers, not sure of what else could be done. He didn't look back to see Dorian's face. Instead, he just closed his eyes, and let sleep overtake him once more.
|
|