Survivor
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Why am I even here anymore?
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Post by Freya Alexander on May 30, 2020 22:10:03 GMT
Ethan rubbed her back, and Freya sunk into the feeling of being held entirely, her hands gripping at the hem of his T-shirt in a form of self-reassurance that, indeed, he was actually there. Not some delirium-infused spectre she had imagined due to the incessant use of drug, but actually and truly there. Her hands automatically traced the lining of his T-shirt, just touching it with the tips of her fingers, before withdrawing fully.
"Anytime. Like I said before, you can come to me if you need anything. Talking, hugging, whatever. I get what it's like to try and seem brave in front of people, but sooner or later you need to let those feelings out." Freya regarded him for a moment after that, his level gaze matching her own. It was awfully poignant the shared feeling that showing even small increments of emotion was thought of as weak; that retaining all of those feelings was the stronger way to deal with stress. Truthfully, Freya dealt with stressful environments rather well, but there was indeed a limit to which this whole scenario crossed before the starting line.
She was young; alone; small and inexperienced to the world and the truth of the matter was plain to see: Freya was terrified. She could only imagine living life as a man was even more difficult, as this was the normal expectancy of them. Stupidly. But seeing him trying to be a strong force for her… Freya could only hope to return the level in which his kindness reached her.
“Talking from experience, then?” Her quiet voice rose from the debris of her resolve, face as placid as it ever had been with him. It seemed then that Freya’s outward masked persona was peeling; flaking away at the edges, crumbling away to dust. She seemed… older, perhaps; those blue eyes not brightened by a youthful naivety, but something almost… tired. She glanced at the window, to the streaks of light breaking the dull gloom of the room and drew her mouth back into that neutral thin line.
It was easy falling in line to the stereotypes people provided to her. Youthful, silly, quaint, small, weak. Labels she’d approached and harnessed her whole life; able to manipulate people’s perception of her to an extent. It was easy looking at those who saw her for her stereotype, and those that saw her for a person. Distinguishing the pair was the true challenge. She hoped Ethan saw a human being in her, not a little girl that needed a hug because she didn’t have anyone else holding her hand. She believed he did… she truly did. Gnawing slightly on her lip, Freya’s eyes flashed to his again, her brow furrowed.
“I hope you know the same goes to you, too. I know you’ll think of me as… I dunno, small? Everyone sees the ‘small’ in me. But I know you’re doing the same, Ethan; hiding away those feelings because people look at you and only see the ‘strong, clever young man’. How could someone like you have… god forbid, emotions?” She simpered at that. “Don’t hide away for my benefit, that’s all I’m saying…”
And then she turned to the door, matching his gaze. He seemed to be searching for… something. Unsure of what, she followed his eyes, and similarly found nothing that seemed to stand out to her. Proceeding towards the door, her hands traced the frame of it, looking for something that screamed weakness to her. But she was no expert on the craft of doors, and quickly drew her hands along the perimeter of the wall.
“They really don’t want to make this easy for us, right?”
She halted… before knocking on the wall opposite to Russel’s side. Was this wall connected to another room, perhaps? When no response was heard, her mouth thinned in thought. What if this side lead out into the corridor? Pressing her ear to the grimy plaster, she knocked again, and heard it echo slightly more than what would reverberate in a contained room.
“Ethan… I have a theory. We’re all in rooms connecting, right? There’s two to a room on average… and there was a fair few people. Well, looking at the window; I think we must be on a different floor facing another way. Unless this building is enormous, it would make sense for there to be more than one floor. This could lead into the corridor. And these walls are super old… I don’t want to bring in false hope here, but if we bust through this wall… we could be a short step from getting the FUCK out of here.”
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Survivor
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Post by Ethan Kaul on Jun 1, 2020 1:14:01 GMT
The way she looked at him after they pulled away from each other, it was almost as though she could see right through him. Maybe they weren't so different at all; whilst initially he had seen Freya as a young (even if it was only by a few years), naive, and rather clumsy girl, it was clear there was more to her than that. Much like he disguised his feelings and pretended to be this handsome, successful, stable doctor, she too had carefully constructed a facade in order to conceal her true identity. It was there, in that dark, disgusting room, that their real selves were being unmasked, and Ethan wasn't quite sure how that made him feel.
“Talking from experience, then?”
A dry chuckle escaped his lips. He most certainly was, and even though his approach to releasing his emotions was less tactile than hers, they still had the same goal in mind.
"I suppose you could say that," he shrugged, "You know, this place has almost been cathartic in how it's made me properly express my feelings. Seems I had a lot more that I was concealing than I initially believed."
“I hope you know the same goes to you, too. I know you’ll think of me as… I dunno, small? Everyone sees the ‘small’ in me. But I know you’re doing the same, Ethan; hiding away those feelings because people look at you and only see the ‘strong, clever young man’. How could someone like you have… god forbid, emotions? Don’t hide away for my benefit, that’s all I’m saying…”
"I don't think of you as small," was his immediate response, "I mean, you are small, but only in stature. Not anything else."
He wasn't sure that was any kind of a comfort to her, but he continued regardless, "The people who know me outside of this place only know my academic achievements, my family's prowess, and, yes, admittedly my looks. But in here, we're all the same. Sure, being a doctor is an asset, but at the end of the day whoever it is that is keeping us here doesn't care about that. And... in a way, it's refreshing, to be seen as something more than just a grade or a job, and it sickens me that the first place I feel like people see me for me is a literal prison. I guess that's why I've been more open with everyone, because normally that's never something I'd even consider, especially since you're all virtually strangers. So, I guess what I'm saying is, I promise I won't hide my emotions from you, if you promise not to hide yours from me."
The act of baring a little bit more of his soul drained Ethan more than he could explain, and he turned away from her, inspecting the area thoroughly. Annoyingly enough, there didn't seem to be anything there; it seemed that Freya got all the good luck in this place. His thoughts were interrupted by her knocking on the wall, causing his head to snap to look at her.
"Sounds almost hollow," he commented, "Not like it did when I knocked on the walls in my last room."
It seemed as though Freya had already put on her detective's cap, as she began to speculate about their room being next to a corridor, and the possibility of breaking through the wall.
"What is it with us and holes?" he laughed softly. Her theory was sound; after all, the evidence all pointed to both being on a different floor and there being no connecting bedroom on one side. The more he thought about it, the more he could see her idea of breaking through the wall to be a viable option.
"You really think we could break through the wall?" he eyed the camera that had been pointed at them, "We'd better hope to God that if we try we're able to, because whoever is behind this whole thing is going to be seriously pissed if we put a dent in their painting job."
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Survivor
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Why am I even here anymore?
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Post by Freya Alexander on Jun 1, 2020 14:32:07 GMT
A placid chortle escaped Ethan as he listened intently to her remarks, and Freya remained stoically unversed in how to deal with that; it wasn’t often she exposed those areas of herself to others, never mind someone – in all regards – who was still very much a stranger. Though in a way, she seemed to know him better than originally perceived. With his own words reaffirming it, her mouth curved into a slight smile, encouraging and vacant of anything underlying.
"I don't think of you as small," he almost barked at her as soon as she had said it. Her eyes widened, only for a fraction of a second, before he delved into it more: "I mean, you are small, but only in stature. Not anything else." She laughed a lot at that, flattered by the effort. She had opened her mouth to retort sneakily before Ethan plunged further into what was in his own mind, and succinctly Freya fell silent in respect.
Listening to him, she felt hyper aware of how in sync the pair were, truly, though for contrasting matters. Regardless, in their personal exposure of something which clearly had affected them deeply for many years, Freya felt a form of kinship with that thought. How funny it was, being honest with someone she knew for little over a few weeks.
“…I promise I won't hide my emotions from you, if you promise not to hide yours from me.” Freya’s hand slipped into his at that, squeezing firmly, though not to hurt him. She wished the feeling to be a solid physical reminder of what she said next:
“I promise, Ethan. Please… I- If it’s any consolation, I could tell you were more than all that and I was pretty damn drunk at the time… You ARE pretty cute, though,” she laughed sweetly, squeezing his hand one last time before she drew back to the wall. She heard him speculate as she had, and nodded enthusiastically at his remark, glad he was seeing it from a similar perspective. If the room on the outside was bigger, what’s the chance of them being able to bust through – it was a challenge she’d be willing to take.
"What is it with us and holes?"
Freya had to freeze at that remark, biting her lip before the snort of amusement fully eradicated her quiet consideration. She shook her head, shooting a quick quirked eyebrowed glance at Ethan, almost appearing stern. Of course, the silent shaking of her shoulders clearly surmised that – indeed – it was for show. “Down, boy; that’s enough euphemisms for today,” is all she could utter, before the humoured delirium truly set in. She was far too hungry and far too tired to compose herself in a gracious manner. Ladylike she was NOT, not that this ever perturbed the young girl.
“As for breaking through? Honestly, I’d rather get punished for being an unworking cog in whatever weird machine this is, rather than sit down to happily twiddle my thumbs and possibly die for the lack of effort. And I’m being serious…” She didn’t look back at Ethan, then, putting a little bit of her ‘honesty’ into play, though a little afraid of whatever the young man would do to react. He may not have her quick mind to jump into escaping, but she was going to make it clear that it would most certainly not be her play to submit to it.
Freya eyed the camera once again, the ceaseless eye peering at them; never talking, only watching from afar. She suspected that every single move and conversation they made was under scrutiny. Why not make a little bit of a show?
“So, what’s our play?” she murmured, inspecting the wall in an intense curiosity that the little woman could feel burning within her gaze. Reaching back, she picked up the broken cane which was still perched on the end of the bed where she had last left it. Slapping it satisfyingly on her palm, the girl then tested its durability by trying its pliancy. It was clear the thing was on its last legs, and thus she’d only use it if absolutely her last option. Unless… hm. Perhaps plunging it into the less durable-looking wall may be their only route. “Thoughts about how useful this could be?” she held up the cane, so the full thing was visible to Ethan. “Could shove it in sharp-end first and we can worry about making it bigger after? I mean… I only want to do what you’re comfortable with.”
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Survivor
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i love you brooks, forever and always
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Post by Ethan Kaul on Jun 1, 2020 22:35:24 GMT
Freya's hand slipped into his, and Ethan found himself smiling, squeezing hers back. Something about her presence put him at ease, made him feel less alone. He only hoped that she felt the same sort of kinship towards him as he did towards her. The smile on her face promised the beginning of a beautiful friendship, and for that, he was grateful.
A friend. It was strange that the idea of actually having a friend was so foreign to him, but he welcomed it. After all, he and Freya were seemingly on a similar wavelength, even if she was slightly more chaotic than him. Her sense of humour appealed to him too; he appreciated being able to tease her and her not retaliate by bursting into tears, as some of his previous acquaintances, and even ex girlfriends, had done.
“I promise, Ethan. Please… I- If it’s any consolation, I could tell you were more than all that and I was pretty damn drunk at the time… You ARE pretty cute, though.”
He laughed, "Well, I can agree that you were incredibly drunk. And as for cute?"
Ethan paused for a moment, as if he was pretending to think about it, before responding, "Yeah, I think I can agree with that too. You're not so bad yourself, you know."
He watched her inspect the walls for a few moments, before turning to him once more, clearly trying to hide her amusement at his remark. It was to no avail; within a few seconds she had descended into laughter, only managing to choke out something about no more euphemisms. He shrugged, a cheeky smile making its way onto his lips, pleased at her reaction to his intended innuendo. If she had taken it seriously, well... it would have proved that their senses of humour were not compatible, so he was glad that she got the joke.
"No euphemisms here, Miss Alexander," he teased, "Just a genuine enquiry into your fascination with holes. After all, this is the second one you've suggested we make."
Not that he'd disagreed with either of them. A hug and a method of escape were two essential things that were needed in this place, but he'd wanted to poke fun at her for it a little more. He also agreed with her philosophy of being punished for doing something rather than nothing. Anything was better than being passive, especially in this kind of situation, and at that moment it truly seemed like a hole could be their saviour.
"Well, I agree. If there's something we can do, we need to do it," Ethan said, resolute in his answer, "Especially if it helps others too. I hope nobody is too badly hurt..."
Once more, the pink-haired girls' attention turned to the cane, inspecting its usefulness. He could see how it could come in handy, after all, it was rather sharp, and hopefully sturdy too. If the wall was thin enough, it could pierce through, and they could make the hole bigger from there.
"Could be a good idea," he responded to her question, before his eyebrows shot straight up into his hairline at her plan of shoving it into the wall sharp end first, but only if he was comfortable. And she said no euphemisms...
"Well, if you're comfortable with shoving sharp things into holes, then so am I," he chuckled, watching her closely for her reaction.
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Survivor
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Why am I even here anymore?
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Post by Freya Alexander on Jun 1, 2020 23:28:09 GMT
Ethan laughed broadly, his warmth radiating to her, which only made her smile grow larger. "Well, I can agree that you were incredibly drunk. And as for cute…” her eyebrow quirked as she anticipated the swift response. She was not incorrect: "Yeah, I think I can agree with that too. You're not so bad yourself, you know." She cackled in retort, flicking some of her lengthening hair over her shoulder. The curl rebounded back and coiled upwards again. What she would give for some straighteners, honestly; would do anything to change the mess that her hair was at that moment.
“I’m hideous, Ethan. Look at me. Tiny pink gremlin!” She hissed, curling her fingers into claws and lunging forward and leaping back before he could grab her. Her laughter faded off as she sighed contentedly, flicking the goddamn irritating hair out of her eyes again. It was that length now that was just purely an inconvenience. She had no means to tie it back, so resolved to laying on her back most of the time so that is just didn’t intrude her thoughts every moment.
"No euphemisms here, Miss Alexander. Just a genuine enquiry into your fascination with holes. After all, this is the second one you've suggested we make.” Once again that little shit was making hole references. Would she ever be free from the subjugation; the TORMENT. Alas, not. Freya groaned at his remark, dramatically rolling her eyes back.
“If you wanna get technical, it’s our third. ‘Cept we’re more sober,” she muttered, before she snapped back into a cheery demeanour, pretending she hadn’t said anything. Hand on hip, she inspected the wall with a placid crassness that bordered on parody. A perfect pantomime of a performance.
In truth, Freya was revelling in the notion of Ethan’s new-found sense of humour; though perhaps she had just failed to notice it before. It truly did pass the time with a joy she couldn’t believe she would find. If they could find solace in ripping the shit out of each other, she would engage in that with fervour and zeal. Spending time with someone like him was the benefit of it, anyway. She had really grown to care for him over the short time she’d known him, and Freya could only hope that this calm would not be eradicated by something vicious.
At his rather BOLD remark of ‘shoving sharp things into holes’ the girl finally spluttered, astonished by it. Eyes wide, she raised the cane in the air with an incredibly threatening stance, before brandishing it like the grandmother trapped within her.
“If you’re shoving SHARP things in, you’re doing it WRONG,” the girl exclaimed, her mouth a wide ‘O’, though threatening to break into a smirk at any moment. “But in this instance, I think it may benefit us…”
Her mouth fell into the perfect emulation of the (:3) emoticon for how far her human mouth could form, and she purred softly, leaning against the wall in some effort to appear cool, but incredibly goofy.
“Shall we just… I dunno, GO for it? Take the… plunge… Or do some prep work? Find other holes to… ugh… make bigger.” She scowled at herself, her own words turning sour. “DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT, YOU DID THIS!”
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Survivor
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i love you brooks, forever and always
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Post by Ethan Kaul on Jun 2, 2020 0:26:42 GMT
“I’m hideous, Ethan. Look at me. Tiny pink gremlin!”
He feigned terror as she leaped towards him like some sort of little monster, laughing as he did so. She really was a tiny gremlin in the best way possible, but by no means was she scary enough to make him actually fear her. Especially not now he knew of the vulnerable girl that hid underneath all the chaos.
"I'm so scared," he replied playfully, "I think I would be even more terrified if you were actually hideous; unfortunately for you, you're just too cute to be scary."
Ethan ran his hand over his chin, fingers brushing over the stubble that had grown during his weeks in captivity. He really hoped his next room had a razor, otherwise he was going to be leaving this place looking like a young, fit Santa Claus. He knew he'd rock it, but still, it wasn't his usual clean-cut aesthetic that he preferred, although the stubble could stay for now.
“If you wanna get technical, it’s our third. ‘Cept we’re more sober.”
That little nonchalant remark had him choking on air. He certainly hadn't planned on making a hole the night he'd first met Freya, but, well... he didn't allow himself to finish that vulgar thought, instead choosing to follow Freya's eye-line to where it rested on the wall. Ah, yes, the proposed next victim of their hole-related antics. Ethan bit his tongue, deciding not to respond to her remark. It needed no further comment, after all, she wasn't exactly wrong about their intentions, even if she was perhaps misinformed about the anatomy.
His comment, however, earned another shocked expression from Freya. He supposed that she wasn't used to this side of him - hell, he wasn't even used to this side of him, but something about her, Sawyer, and the nutty professor he had been roomed with before had brought out an Ethan that was almost... fun? He wished that, back in his normal life, he had felt comfortable enough to show someone that he could be fun, he wasn't just all medical books and studying (although, admittedly, that did make up a lot of his life). The weirdest thing about it was, he was actually enjoying it, and in a twisted way it was making him almost not mind that he was trapped with just bread and water for sustenance and a hyperactive pink-haired 'gremlin' for company. If it weren't for the strange "games" and the fact he couldn't leave, he could almost pretend that he was just stuck at the world's shittiest hotel. Still, escaping was his priority, that was something he hadn't forgotten.
“If you’re shoving SHARP things in, you’re doing it WRONG,” she declared, brandishing the cane as a weapon. Ethan just laughed, rolling his eyes playfully.
"I can assure you Freya, I know my way around a hole," he smirked, "I certainly don't think I could do it wrong even if I tried."
Oh, he really couldn't help but tease her, and the flustered way she was responding to his hole-related puns was only encouraging him further. He was aware that it was going to be a loooooong few weeks for the both of them, so might as well pass the time with a few well-timed jokes.
“Shall we just… I dunno, GO for it? Take the… plunge… Or do some prep work? Find other holes to… ugh… make bigger.
Ethan quirked an eyebrow at her, sorely tempted to make a joke about prep work and lubricant, but somehow he managed to refrain. That would be far too crass, after all.
"DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT, YOU DID THIS!"
That just made him chuckle even more, "I mean, you turned my innocent question into a euphemism. But, in all seriousness, I'll check the wall. Maybe there is a crack that we could use to make a hole."
He moved over to the wall, inspecting it closely.
[PERCEPTION CHECK: Ethan inspects the wall to see if there is any kind of crack or hole]
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NPC
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. . .
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Post by Fate on Jun 2, 2020 15:34:32 GMT
PERCEPTION CHECK: Ethan inspects the wall to see if there is any kind of crack or hole.
RESULT: 3 - Unfortunately, Ethan didn't find any cracks in the hole.
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